Growing the elmore family

Two things

2011-09-16T09:22:00.003-04:00

First an update. We are in the house and we love it. We love our new neighborhood. We love our house. Will loves having his own bathroom and his bedroom in the basement. All of the kids have loved being able to have friends to play with near by. School has gotten off to a good start for all. Will seems to have fallen right into 7th grade, with no issues at all. He is even getting up and out with very minimal over sight by us. Brooke is enjoying 4th grade, getting to know the routine and friends. Hope is loving going to preschool. She loves everything about it, meeting friends, swimming every Wednesday, songs, teachers...all of it. Her only complaint is that some kids "get to stay for lunch" and she doesn't. ;)

Now on to what is really on my heart this morning. My heart is torn in two. I love being here in MI. I love the weather (yes even the winters). I love being close to my mom, the time I and the kids are getting to spend with her is priceless. I love living close to my sister and her family. I love the small town that we now live in and everything that comes with that. And I love all the extended family that we have living in the same area too, and all the opportunity it provides for big family gettogethers. BUT I miss my best friend. A LOT.

Now my sister is one of my best friends too, don't get me wrong. I am lucky that that I have 2 women in my life that I can have that deep relationship with. But the person I am talking about is my best friend that I had to leave in VA. She is my Emmy. She is the sister not of blood but of my heart. We can literally spend days together, just talking and reading and eating. Her absence in my day to day life is hitting me hard, square in the the heart today. Most days I can put the void in the recesses of my mind and remind myself of the great time we spent together this summer or the next time I will talk to her or see her. But not today.

I know I will make friends here. And I hope I have already started some of those friendships. But the depth that I have with Emily only comes from time, openness and a blessing from God. Not a combination that one finds often or quickly. I could go on and on about why my relationship with Emily is so meaningful in my life....she is the ying to my yang, she fillig in the gaps of my personality and I hers, ect. But I will spare you the gushyness. I am not writing about all of this so that you will feel sorry for me. I don't want that. I write all of this to try to process these feelings. I write about this because today I can think of nothing else. I write about this because I want her to know that I am thinking of her and miss her as much as she misses me, so that she will know how important she is to me. And maybe I write all of this so that she will come visit me. ;)

I think I need a dog. ;)

One more week!!

2011-08-27T22:25:00.002-04:00

We close on the new house on Monday, at 2pm to be exact. There were times the last 8 months that I wondered if it would really happen. There were even times I thought for sure it would never happen. But I am grateful to be able to see this come to a happy ending. Moving in Labor Day weekend is not my idea of great timing, since the kids will start school the following Tuesday, but we will just deal with it.

I am also happy to report that we have made it through August with no where near the difficulty I anticipated. But our ability to get through this last month is due in great part to our friends in VA. We went down for a planned vacation the last week in July and ended up kind of staying. Well not really all of us. We stayed the last week in July, then Ray,Will, Hope and I came back to MI, leaving Brooke with Nana and friends. We were here in MI that first week of August so Will and Hope could go to camps they were already signed up for. Then the kids and I headed back to VA for another 2 weeks!! Spending time with our very hospitable friends, and reconnecting with other friends and neighbors was a great way to pass the last month. And really just NOT being here in this one bath , 2 bedroom "bungalow" was wonderful.

Speaking of this comfy, free, abode..I think the time we have spent here has prepared us to truly appreciate our new, beautiful, 4 bedroom, 3 bath house. Below is a list of things I am looking forward to in the new house.

-Not seeing my girls do the potty dance every time they need to use the one bathroom while it is occupied.

-When I yell "Go to your rooms!" everyone will be going to a different room.

-My husband and I will have an actually bedroom to ourselves, instead of sleeping on a mattress in the living room.

-I will never see loading and unloading the dishwasher as the chore I once did. I am now fully aware of how much worse it is to do dishes by hand.

I know there are many more things that I will notice and appreciate once we actually move in. And really I just can not wait to move in. Well I could do without the actual moving and unpacking, but you have to do that in order to get to the feeling at home part. And that is what I really want, to feel "at home" again.

Staring straight into the mouth of the abyss.

2011-07-20T10:09:00.002-04:00

So far our summer has been busy, very busy. Some may say too busy. That is the way I like it. I would rather be too busy than have 3 bored to arguing, whining, complaining, kids at my heals. Usually I try to spread our plans for camps, classes, vacations, and yes even some down time, through out the whole summer. That way we don't end up with a jammed up schedule one month and nothing another month.

This summer has not worked out the way I would have liked. We thought we would be ready to close on the new house around now...but this is not the case. We have had some delays (yes this is where you can add your gasps of surprise). So, thinking that we would be busy moving and settling into a new house in August, I didn't schedule anything for most of August (insert my gasps of fear here). Now we have a closing date of 8/26. And now I am left staring at 3 EMPTY weeks on our 3ft x 2ft family calender.

I think some of Brooke's drama is rubbing off on me. ;)

And the drama begins

2011-06-28T13:43:00.003-04:00

Summer is in full swing for our family. We had a great Father's Day weekend in Chicago, which included a Yankee game (ok the Cubs were there too), a trip to American Girl, a day at the Lincoln Park Zoo, and a side trip to a worship service at Willow Creek Community Church. Hope has completed a 2 week swimming course, which she could pass if she would put her face in the water :/. Will has started his trumpet and racquetball lessons. And Brooke has just started her 2 week drama camp that will conclude with an all female production of "The Jungle Book". Things are hopping around here.

The house is coming along. We are looking towards a completion date around the middle of August. We are now just hoping that we can actually move in as soon as it is finished. Things with our renters in VA have taken a dramatic turn for the worse. It concerned us a bit from the beginning that they did not seem like a good fit for the neighborhood (which is very family oriented, and our renters are really just a bunch of adults trying to start a restaurant in the area) and as some time has passed it has become clear they are not fitting in...but now they have missed the June payment. That is not gonna fly. So now we go to court...Yeahhhh, not. ;( Hopefully they will be moving out around the middle of July. Soooo, if you know a family that would like to live in a great neighborhood in Mechanicsville, VA and want to get in before school starts...please let me know (I am not kidding).

Although we are thankful to be able to live at my Grandma's, I think this house is preparing us to be grateful for our new home. The hard water here is taking it's toll on our skin, hair and clothes. The ants are teaching us how to keep all garbage and yummy things tucked away safe and sound. The leaking faucet in the kitchen is just plain annoying. And sharing 1 bathroom is teaching us all that modesty is a luxury not necessarily a right.

So I come to you asking for prayers again. Prayers for renters that pay the rent and that are meant to be in our VA house in our family neighborhood....soon. And prayers that we can learn all of the lessons that our time here in my Grandma's house is teaching us.

We are still here!

2011-05-31T13:14:00.002-04:00

I am coming back to our original family blog. We just moved out of my sister's house and into my grandma's old house, which has been vacant, last week. We are back to our family of 5. We have some tight quarters but we are making it just fine. We now have 2 bedrooms and 1 bath and about 1000 sqft. My Mom had to show me how to work the ancient microwave...but it works. Now if we can just get the washer and dryer going we will be good.

Our house in VA is rented, thank the Lord. There are a few kinks with the new renters that we need to iron out, but I believe that we can work things out and have good renters for at least a year. Yeah! Now we can actually get a mortgage for the house we are having built here in MI. And things are moving along with the new house, I will post pics when I get a chance. No drywall yet, just studs and wiring, but the siding is almost finished. We have at least met most of our new neighbors and there are plenty of kids for ours to make friends with. My prayer is that we will be in and settled before school starts up in the fall.

The kids have all adjusted really well to being here in MI. Will loves his new school and friends. Brooke did well with home school and made some friends through a local home school group, church, along with art and gymnastics classes. She would like to try public school again so we are working on some things to support her in that goal. Hope has loved gymnastics class and church, and has also made a couple of friends. Raymond and I are trying to get to know people from church and our new neighborhood, but as adults it is always a little harder to make new friends, I think. Having my family close by really helps though.

We are here.

2010-12-16T08:27:00.002-05:00

Well the movers came. They packed,everything...sometimes that is good and sometimes not. They loaded it all on a truck and it is somewhere here in MI...or at least that is what they tell me.

While the movers packed, I packed too. I packed what we thought we would need for the unknown time period that we will be living with my sister. That is difficult, especially since there is limited space in any house, but especially one that is holding 4 adults, 5 kids, and 2 dogs. And there was getting it all there in our vehicles. Our cars have never been so full. But here we are and it feels like we are settling in.

Will started school this week and loves it. Brooke is back on a decent schedule with homeschooling, and Hope has finally accepted that Aunt Erin's house is "home" for now. Raymond seems to be enjoying is job and especially his 11minute commute. I, however, am still trying to find my rhythm. That has always been a challenge for me and I believe that, with the kids Christmas break coming up, I will not be able to find it until they return to school.

But we are all here (minus the 3 cats..my mom is taking them for us until we get our own house). And that feels right. Being separated would not feel like a real family to me. Now we just need to get the house sold in VA. That is up to God. We have done our best to make it attractive and hassle free for the next owner, but only He knows who that house is meant for. And when is the perfect time for them to buy it. Please pray that we can hand over all of our worries and concerns about when and for how much it will sell to Him. That we can find peace in knowing that His plans are the best and His timing is perfect. The waiting is difficult, for all of us. But it must be done.

I will not be posting much on this blog for now. My sister, Erin, and I have started a new blog about our little experiment on merging our families into the same house. Come check that one out (www.therealsisterwivesofsouthwestmichigan.blogspot.com) , there is bound to be some interesting, funny, craziness that happens.

The movers are coming! The movers are coming!

2010-11-21T21:06:00.003-05:00

Thank you! All of your prayers worked. We are on our best path.

We are selling the house, or atleast going to try. And we all feel (realtor included) that it is best for us all to be out of the house while it is on the market. Let's face it, those of you that know me well enough to have been welcomed into our home know that I have a hard enough time keeping it clean enough for visitors, the chances of me keeping it "show ready" are so slim that if I was a race horse even those that love me would bet against me. ;)

My mom and brother are coming in on Tues. We are having Thanksgiving on Weds. After that we will be de-cr*pping and packing things to take to our temperary home (also known as my sisters house). Ray pushed his start date back a week, so he and Will are driving up 12/6. The movers last day of loading is 12/7 and my mom, the girls, and 3 cats and I will be driving up 12/8. Wow! Crazy fast right?! But atleast we will all be together and not separated for some unknown time period.

Oh and did you catch that part I slipped in there about us moving in with my sister? Yep. I have an amazing family. And so does she. We have no clue how long we will be staying there. And yet they are still welcoming us.

So that's our plan. God's plan for family, right now. Let the adventure begin.

prayers please

2010-11-17T12:37:00.003-05:00

As you can guess from the title this is just really a big long prayer request. So if you are not into that then just close the window now.

We are in need of some major prayers for our family. No one has a long term or terminal illness. But we are going through a very tough time right now, in regards to this move. The excitement has worn thin (not off ) and the complexity and gravity of the reality of the decisions that need to be made have set in.

We are in complete turmoil about what to do about the house here in VA and what to do about a house in MI. God has given us a financial vision for our family, but we are just not sure what the BEST way is to get there. And yes we are looking for the Best way , not a good way, the best way...because God's way is always the best way. His plans are the best plans. And all too often we accept good plans, sometimes they are even easier plans, and sometimes without realizing that there is a best way, even if it is harder a way.

Please know, we are not destitute. We are not going to be homeless. We have many blessings and we do not want to let this one problem over shadow those wonderful truths in our lives. Everyone is healthy, my husband has a great job, we have family and friends to support us. And we do have some options (although some may be unpleasant) in regards to our house woes, in a time that many people do not have any options. We really are thankful for all of those things. But just because there are families that are in worse situations than us, I do not believe that means we are not allow to ask for prayers.

So that is what I am asking for. Prayers that our eyes are open to His path. Our ears are open to His voice. Our hearts are open to His plans, the best plans for our family. Peace with this season of transition. Calmness and gentleness with each other as we all come to terms with these changes and decision making issues. Humility, to ask for help when we need it. That we would all have good attitudes about any sacrifices we will be making, short and long term. And that we can find joy in the blessing that this opportunity brings us.

Thank you to all of you that have gotten far enough to finish this post, I am grateful to have such family and friends that I can come to in times when I am in need.

2010-11-15T09:21:00.003-05:00

After almost 30 years I am moving back to my "home" state, Michigan. Don't worry, I am not leaving my family behind, we are all moving to the great mitten in the north.

Raymond started a job search a few months ago and it happened to co-inside with our annual summer trip to visit my sister. We have always talked about living "up there" ,so he started reaching Whirlpool, since their headquarters is 5 miles from my sister's house. He really liked what he read and heard about the company so he added them to his list (which also included a few companies here in the Richmond area) of possible employers. 3 months later...here we are, moving to MI. He just accepted a position with Whirlpool and he starts on 11/29. I know....crazy.

So now, we need to rent the house. Selling our house here in VA is not good idea right now, but we hear good things about renting and so that is the direction we are headed. The girls and I will be here until the house rents...whenever that is. Will is going to head up about a week after Ray to get started in school (the same school as his cousin = happy kid) up there. Will we be here/there for Christmas? I dunno ? Will we even be together for Christmas? I dunno that either. Sometimes you can't wait for all the answers to all of your questions before you move forward. You have to step out and take it one step at a time, trusting that God does know all of those answers and whatever they are, they are all part of His plan.

How are the kids? The same as me, excited, scared, sad (to leave our friends and family here), but hopeful for the future. A future that I never really allowed myself to imagine. A future that includes Holidays with my sister , my mom and aunt, uncle and cousins, winters watching my children playing in the snow with their cousins and second cousins, white Christmas's, and so much more.

Oh so this is why....

2010-10-04T14:09:00.002-04:00

WARNING... the following post could be considered a vent and a huge waste of your time.

I can confidently say that Raymond and I have recently entered our most difficult season of parenting to date. Potty training and the terrible 2s is a piece of cake compared to what we are dealing with right now with Brooke. Parenting her is consuming our time, our emotional as well as financial resources, and our thoughts and prayers, at a rapid pace. I can not even say that we have good days and bad days...right now we can only go by minutes, sometimes hours...but mostly minutes. We knew parenting would be challenging and difficult at times, this is one of those times.

What is wrong with her? you ask. That is what we want to know. We have no reason to believe there is anything physically wrong. Her symptoms seem to most people to be normal preteen girl drama only dial it up about 75% (and the only reason I did not say 100% is because I can not allow myself to fall in to the trap of believing that it can not get any worse...). Her (outbursts, tantrums, meltdowns, tornadoes, breakdowns, explosions...take your pick) can last hours . They can start as a snowball, building from something very small, or in an instant. And then when all the screaming ends she turns back into my kind, grateful, considerate, obedient, snugly girl. Everything is overwhelming to her...too much, too tight, too hard. And there is never enough...of anything, not enough time to make decisions, eat, brush her teeth, get dressed...not enough of me to give her all she believes she needs me for, not enough belief in herself that she can do her schoolwork, chores, whatever it is.

So what are we doing? Drs apts..tyring some meds, psychologist, changing some parenting techniques and homeschooling her.

Why am I telling anyone/everyone about this? Because I can't not tell everyone. Not in my nature to bottle things up and keep secrets. Maybe someone has been through something similar and can offer some resources or support. Maybe someone is going through this right now and we can cry on each other's shoulders. Hopefully letting you all in on this will get us some extra prayers. And so when you see us or anyone who might be in a simular situation as us, out in public with a kicking, screaming, criing child (that looks like they are of the age that they should no longer be having such temper tanturms) you can pray for that family or just ignor us...or both, instead of saying or thinking how horrible those parents must be....or say something like "if she were mine I would wear her butt out", yes a woman actually said that to me in a store once. That is not helpfull...did she really think spanking had never occured to us, or that we had never tried that before..trust me we have tried it all. The last reason I tell you all this is that it helps me just to write/type it all down, it helps me process big issues like this, even if no one actually reads it.

As sad as I still am that we were not able to become foster parents for those 2 girls this summer, I am more thankful that God could see the big picture when I could not. It is most surely in our and their best interest that they are not living in this house of turmoil. I already feel bad enough for Will and Hope. Pray for them too...that Raymond and I can be enough for ALL of our children.

Not gonna happen.

2010-05-07T13:58:00.004-04:00

After phone calls on top of phone calls, we have just found out that Social Services has found another placement for the 2 girls that we thought we would be foster parents for. The short story is that the county we live in (and where the girls are in a foster home now) is willing to get us approved for foster care, but the county the girls are from (not the county we live in) is not willing to bet on us and wait for us to be approved. Even though we are a good bet, since we have already gone through a home study and background checks to adopt Hope, and we would be approved right around the time the girls will need placement. Very disappointing...more for the girls than us..but still disappointing.

So now what?

Now we ask ourselves questions.

Why did we feel lead down this path?
How do we feel about becoming foster parents?
Should we continue with the training to become foster parents?
Now? Later? Ever?
What kinds and how many kids do we feel capable of handling?
How old?
Do we really just want to adopt again?
Foster-Adopt? International? Special needs?

You see how this could go on and on.

Time. I think time is what is next. Time to heal from this experience. Time to pray. Time to ask ourselves and each other these questions and probably more.

Something up our sleeves.

2010-04-29T16:54:00.002-04:00

I will start with an update about our "experiment". At this point I think we can call it a success, kind of. What I mean is..yes it is working, slowly..so we are not ready to stop at one week. What this experiment has done is change our way of thinking about the amount of time our kids spend doing something constructive together and the amount of time they spend with friends and electronic distractions. We are not going to be quite as strict about enforcing "no friends" and "no electronics", but now it is something we really give a good deal of consideration before we say yes or no to. We take recent activities into account, have they spent much time together lately(not in front of the TV)?...how have they been interacting with each other (kind or competitive)? ect. Basically, what I am saying is, I was right. This past week reinforced what I already believed..the MORE time they spend together the more they will get to know each other and therefore get along better. I would encourage anybody that has the same issue, to try it. It is training not punishment. And how do you know someone has finished their training??? They can do what they have been taught right? So just keep training until they can do it on their own. That's our theory anyway. ;-)

OK...so we have been keeping something up our sleeve for the past few weeks. It looks like we are going to become Foster Parents.

About 6 weeks ago Brooke met a little girl that lives in our neighborhood that is a foster child(we will call her R). Well after some talking with her foster mom, I found out two things ...1, R (age 9) has a sister K (age 6)....and 2, the foster family they are in now has given notice that they will not be fostering any children after June. Well, I just about fell to my knees when I heard that last part. I could not imagine these 2 sweet girls having to move from a home, neighborhood and school that they have just become comfortable in. So after a week or so of praying and talking, Raymond and I decided to see if there was any way we could become their new placement.

Well, after almost 3 weeks of calls and emails, it looks like this may actually happen. I talked to a Social Worker today and she has us set up with a schedule of classes and a boat load of paper work, that leads us all to believe that we could make this happen by the end of June.

We could be a family of 7 by the beginning of July! That is crazy right? I mean, seriously, what are we thinking?

Let's try something new

2010-04-19T13:29:00.002-04:00

We are running an experiment in our house this week. Brooke and Will fight constantly. Not physically, thank goodness, but none the less they fight all the time. Now, I know that some of this is to be expected they are 2 years apart, a boy and a girl..9 and 11, but whatever excuse you want to throw at it, the fighting is driving me batty. I don't mean the normal batty...I mean I can not take it any more. It kills me the way that they talk to and about each other. And we have tried plenty of things to get them to stop or change. And the talking and family meetings and late night crying sessions are just not working. And their fighting and sniping at each other is keeping our family time from being as fun as it should be. And let's not forget the fact that we have a 2 year old watching and learning from them, about how to treat each other...and yes it is rubbing off on her. So, out with the old, and in with the new.

They are not allowed to do anything electronic and (here's the kicker) ....they are not allowed to play with anyone besides each other this week. Now I know what you are thinking "if they can't stand each other, do you really think that making them spend that much time together is going to make it better?" And the answer is "Yes...yes I do." They need to learn to do fun things together. They need to really get to know each other (right now they know friends better than they know each other). They need to not be able to veg out and disconnect from each other.

I truly believe that you can learn to love the people you are with everyday. You may not have ever chosen to spend time with them, but once you get to know them , you are glad you did. This is what needs to happen with my kids. We are family...we need to work together and get along. And nothing I have been telling them is sinking in..so now they need to figure it out on their own. So I am going to give them the uninterrupted time together to figure it out.

I am very interested to see how this little experiment works. I will keep you posted.

March celebrations

2010-03-31T09:44:00.003-04:00

March is a time to celebrate in our family. Hope's Homecoming day (3/22) and Brooke's birthday (3/23). Even Nana's birthday is in March...and sometimes Easter.

We celebrated Hope's 2nd Homecoming Day (3/22). We treat it kind of like some one's birthday. I guess you could call it our family of 5 birthday. We don't do presents, we do go out to dinner, like every other birthday in our house, and we (well mainly me) talk about what we were all doing and thinking on that special day. This is only the second time we have celebrated this event and each time we have chosen (really I have insisted) to go to a Korean restaurant for dinner. It is soo yummy. Last year we were in MI for the big day, so this year we had to find a place close to home, which was not easy. But the place we ended up , after a couple false starts, was great. It was a Korean barbecue, so they cooked the meat at the table with a Korean "hot plate", so dinner and a show. Everybody found somethings that they like to eat , big deal for my family of picky eaters (well 3 out of 5). It was great, until I burned myself (after warning the kids time and time again) on a bowl my dearest husband handed me. Apparently one side of the bowl was too close to the hot plate (the side he presented to me), while the other side (the side he was holding) was not hot at all. So I ended the evening with an icee under my pillow, trying to find a way to sleep so my thumb would not fall off the icee. Not comfy. A few days later, after my stomach convinced me that I can no longer throw caution to the wind (where gluten is concerned), I decided I would be making Korean at home from now on. I have found some gluten free Korean recipes online and then we can eat it more than once a year too.

Then on to Brooke's birthday. 9 years old. I don't know if I am ready for all of this. Princess one minute and tomboy the next. Dresses and painted toenails changes to not brushing her hair and stained clothes the next. Back and forth. Snuggly and sweet to yelling and smart mouthed. I am told this is all normal. But I would love an abnormal daughter. I just keep praying that God gives me the wisdom and patients I need deal with her and pass to her. She did enjoy her birthday party..I took just a few girls and Brooke to a salon to get mini mani-pedis then to DQ for ice cream. All the girls were great..the only one to drive me nuts was my own, who seems to turn in to some kind of weirdo when she is with friends. (roll eyes here) I don't know what to do with her. That party was on the Sat after her birthday. On her birthday we went to see "Wicked" again, and out to dinner at Maggiano's. Dinner was wonderful, especially for me the gluten-free. They have gf pasta and the chef came out to talk over all of my gf options, it was first rate service and yummy, hard to beat. The show was great. Much better than I was expecting considering it was a tour. Of course Brooke had a little melt down at the beginning of the show. Nothing is perfect when it comes to the view at a packed production and it took a trip out to the hall and a shot of reality and consequences to get her to come to terms with that fact.

Looking forward to see what spring break holds for us!

She won!!

2010-03-01T09:46:00.004-05:00

There she is..Little Miss Mechanicsville 2010..our Brookie. We are all excited and proud of her. She has grown up so much in the last few years. This year will be filled with service projects for our community and lots of opportunity for more growth for Brooke. I am excited to support her in all of her projects and growth.

I lied.

2010-01-25T15:06:00.002-05:00

I know I said I would post some pictures from over the holidays...but I am not going to. Sorry. I just don't have the patience right now..maybe next time.

We have had a hard time getting back into the swing after the holidays. It just seems like all I can do right now is put out fires. The past week we have all been sick except Ray so that slows us down exceedingly. And now we are going to completely throw a wrench into our schedule and send the kids back to public school.

I love homeschooling but, it seems that at this point for our family, although it did alleviate some of the issues we were having, it has created it's own issues as well. There is no perfect situation, I know. But Ray and I have come to the conclusion that ,as much as I want to, I can not juggle all of these balls. I can't do it all. So I am going to let homeschooling go for now and see how we do with public school again. We are going to re-evaluate at the end of this semester and make a decision about which schooling is best for each kiddo. We will see.

The kids are both very excited about going back to school. This week is filled with appointments and registration and shopping for supplies and packing. Because next week we are headed out to Massanutten for a week (the official first week of the semester). Then the kids will start school the week we get back probably the 9th.

Soo....here we go again.

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-09T09:27:00.003-05:00

Consider this my Christmas card. I can not remember the last year I sent an actual Christmas card. It is one of those holiday "traditions" that I consider a "chore" and therefore I have cut it out of my holiday "must-dos". And please know that I totally understand how much work and time it takes to get all of those cards sent out and I really do appreciate all of the cards we receive (especially the ones with updates and pics), but I also know that you still wish us a Merry Christmas, even if we don't get a card, so don't feel guilty if you are like me and don't send cards.

Please accept this as my Christmas card to you, there is a Christmas background on the blog and Christmas music to enjoy, a wish of a "Merry Christmas", and even an update about how/what we are doing. The only thing missing is a cute family photo. I promise I will take a few pics over the holidays and post them after...hey it will give you something to look forward to. ;-)

Those of you that know me well ( and in a moment anyone who happens upon this blog) know that Christmas is not my favorite holiday. I mean Christmas is good..but I have a hard time really enjoying it and finding ways to celebrate in ways that are meaningful to me and my family. But this year is better than last, we did not even get the tree up last year (gasp here). This year the tree is up and decorated, even (most of ) the lights are up and working on the outside of the house too. Raymond and I are almost done with the shopping, probably because we are not actually buying many gifts for the kids. We are taking a family vacation (to Massanutten) in Feb that we are counting as our big present to ourselves and the kids. The kids and I even made a few cookies to decorate, really that is just above and beyond for me.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. And this year was a good one. My mom and brother came here for the week. It was good to spend time hanging with no real agenda. We cooked together, watched the parade, teased each other, fought over how to cook things, and eventually drove each other nuts...perrrrfect Thanksgiving. Ray's mom joined us for dinner to, it was great to have a full table.

The big kids are doing great with the swim team. It took a while to push through some commitment issues they were having, but now things are really good. They are consistently cutting off seconds from their times and learning the strokes better and better. They are building endurance, determination, and the understanding that working hard at something has long term payoffs (even if you don't see results right away). I love to see my kids growing in this direction.

Hope is 2..all of 2, terrible, terrific, tantruming, dancing, funny, disobedient, sweet, demanding, and smart as a whip, learning everything (good and bad). She sleeps very well in her bed...sometimes naked with a pile of books and dolls..but eventually she sleeps. I think (actually I know) that Santa is bringing her a kitchen and it is all she can talk about every time his name is mentioned. She did sit in Santa's lap this year (with her big bro and sis, of course) with no tears and not too much prodding..she was soo proud of herself.

Speaking of the big guy...Will has figured it all out. He talked to Raymond about the Easter bunny earlier this year so we were not surprised when he told him that he translated that to Santa and the tooth fairy too. He has taken it really well though. He likes being in the know and helping to make it fun for Hope and Brooke. I am sure it will not be too long before Brooke catches on and there will only be one little one to play Santa for. Of course Santa is still bringing everyone goodies..I am not that scroogie.

One last little tid bit....I am a Tupperware consultant now. Why?...because I do not have enough on my plate....or maybe because I have so much on my plate that I need containers to store it in. ;-) So let me know if you want to have a party..online or in-home....they are tons of fun and we all know Tupperware is a great product. Visit my website www.my.tupperware.com/caraelmore to see new products and set up a party.

Well, that is it, I think.

Merry Christmas!

We've come a long way Baby!

2009-10-25T20:39:00.002-04:00

I sit here tonight amazed that I do not hear the sounds of Hope refusing to sleep in her new "big girl" bed. Raymond's mom is moving to a smaller place and was willing to give us a twin bed that she would not have room for...so "big girl" bed for Hopey. We went out today and picked up her new mattress and box springs, from Nana and her bedding from Target. Came home. took down the crib, and set up her room so that it is safe if she decides to explore in the mornings. By the time I was all done it was time for bed and after her normal bedtime routine, she snuggled in, gave kisses and we have not heard a peep. This from the most routine oriented, "everything in it's place", nothing can change around me, baby ever. I have a big girl.

Heeere weee goooo....

2009-09-16T11:33:00.002-04:00

The first week of school went well (I will get to the second week of school later). We got into a good routine and are tweaking the schedule to try and fit everything in. The kids both seem happy with new curriculum, and so am I. Hope is quite a challenge. It is hard to keep her occupied and quiet while the big kids are trying to get school done, so we are trying to use her nap as a large part of our school time each day..but Mom needs that same time to get house work done, thus the challenge. So we are still trying to figure some things out.

Hope is great in another area though.....She is potty trained. We went cold turkey on the diapers the Wednesday before Labor day and she has not looked back. We still have pull-ups for night-time and naps..but that is it. Accidents are less and less..in fact we went to Williamsburg yesterday (for a field trip) and she did not have one accident. She is doing awesome.

So the second week of school..not soo great, good/okay, just not great. We are leaving on Sat to go on a Disney cruise and I am on freak-out packing mode. Which means that all of Hope's nap time is being devoted to getting things ready to leave and getting things done around the house. Although we always get in Math and Grammar, I am relying on educational TV shows and books (all based around our Egypt unit) to get the kids their science and history for the next few days. And we also had the all day trip to Colonial Williamsburg..that was good for education, too , right?

Right now it dose not feel like our summer is over quite yet. We are all counting down the days til our trip starts and I think when we get back our summer will finally end. And we will be ready to settle into our routine for a good long while.

Now off to my many lists of to-dos and to pack, before we can load up the van and head out of here Sat. morning.

Summer update

2009-08-10T17:33:00.004-04:00

Well I thought I would post an update before the fall gets going and things get busier than they already are.

Our trip to MI was good, short but good. Brooke loved her trip. She had a blast with my sister doing American Girl and other girly stuff...loved being pampered by my mom..and traveling to Uncle Scot's in San Francisco made her feel like she had finally "grown up". She did not get to do as much Art Camp because of a little tummy/throat bug she caught during all of her gallivanting, but she still had a great time.

Then when she came home she was ready to tackle swim team..and did great considering she had hardly any practice and could only do 2 meets. Both kids loved swim teem soo much that we are going to sign them up for the year-round club that we have here in the area. And that is going to be the only sport either of them do for the whole fall and spring. The best part is they will be doing it at the same time , same place, the days that work best for us...so we could even keep the same weekly schedule for the next 8 months if we want too. I am not sure who is more excited...yes I am...it's me!

Since Brooke came home our summer has been pretty laid back..pool, wash clothes, set up water slide, have cookout for Hope's birthday, pool, wash clothes, kids play outside with friends, eat Popsicles, wash clothes, set up slide...catch my drift. Lazy summer days. Very nice.

But now it is time to pump up the planning for fall. If you have noticed our nifty little vacation countdown at the bottom of the blog..it is counting down the days until our Disney Cruise. So I am in full prep and planning mode for that. We are doing a 4 night cruise, driving down the night before, and then heading to Disney's Animal Kingdom Villas for 3 nights after the cruise. OOH don't you worry...I know it is during school time , so we are going to sneak a "field trip" in to Kenndy Space Center the day we get off the cruise so we can get some school'n in too. Can not wait!

And of course actual school starts at the beginning of Sept too...I have not picked a day yet...ahhh the beauty of homeschooling. But I am in prep and plan mode for that too, buying school supplies, going through our new curriculum, gathering supplies for all of the "hands-on" activities..and organizing. I am looking forward to getting back into a routine when school get underway.

So all in all, we have had/are having a great summer and are looking forward to a great fall...packed with a vacation, great family time, lots of swimming, and some fun learning too.

Just one more..real quick post

2009-05-29T12:05:00.003-04:00

Ok , I know I said I would not post until July, but I just had to get this off my chest and know that I am doing all I can to stop this moive.

The movie I am referring to is called "Orphan" you can see a trailer here. http://orphan-movie.warnerbros.com It is a horror movie about a family that adopts a child and then she ends up going crazy. The problems is it plays into the stereotypes of adopted children, particularly older children, as damaged. There are already so many children that need families, the last thing they need is to have a movie come out that may put thoughts of an adoptive family being killed by any child into people's heads. I see this movie as an attack against children finding families. This is not entertainment...it is an assult against the good that can come from the love of a family.

Below is a form letter that Adoptive Families Mag. sent me and gave permission for all to use to express your concern for this movie. And below the letter is contact info for the companies producing this movie. Please join me in the fight against this movie. Maybe if we all do a little it will make a big impact.

To whom it may concern:I want to express my outrage about the release of the movie Orphan. The film plays into the stereotype of adopted children as damaged and dangerous. It discourages families from pursuing adoption, particularly adoption of older children, who are especially in need of loving homes. As an adoptive parent, I am horrified by the line in the trailer that "it must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own." Adoption has often been misrepresented in the media, but the previews for this film are unbelievably offensive. I urge you to change the promotional materials, and to consider holding the release of the film altogether.

Contact information:

Warner Bros.
4000 Warner Blvd.Burbank, CA 91522
818-954-6000
http://www2.warnerbros.com/main/help/customer_service_thanks.html

Silver Pictures
4000 Warner Blvd. 90Burbank, CA 91522-0001
818-954-4490

Time Warner Inc.
One Time Warner CenterNew York, NY 10019-8016
212-484-8000
information@timeinc.com

General update

2009-05-22T09:50:00.003-04:00

It seems like it has been months since I posted last...oh ya it has been months. Sorry. Since it has been so long I have a lot of catching up to do..so you may want to save this post til you have some extra time on your hands, as it could get pretty lengthy. Let's see if I can break it down in to peices...

Homeschooling..

We are finishing up our semester and I think over all it went well. We are planning to continue homeschooling the kids and I have found a curriculum that I think will give us a more complete and challenging scope for next year. We started very light with this first semester and the kids and I both are craving more (more subjects, more projects, more fieldtrips, more everything). I just finished testing the kids on the CATs and I got Will's scores back and it all looks great. I am sure Brooke's will be just as great. I feel like this first attempt was a sucess and I am looking forward to stepping it up in the fall.

Kids...

Hope is doing great. New words each day and even some two word combos lately. She is , alternately, funny and demanding. She loves her family and hates leaving us.

Brooke is very excited about her cross country family adventure. Will did a very similar trip when he was 8. We are heading up to MI for my nephew's H.S. graduation party. And we will leave Brooke there to divide up time between my mom and sister for about 5 days. Then she will fly with my brother to his home in SanFranciso. She will go to art camp there with him for 5 days and then we will all fly out to SF to spend a few days together and pick up Brooke. And I just want to make sure my brother and sister and mother are aware...she has lots of plans about how she would like to be pampered. Erin..she is looking for a mani/pedi and a trip to American Girl...so be warned. This is a girl who knows what she wants and she wants it to be all about her. Have fun!

Will is getting more and more mature. I like it and hate it at the same time. He is the best big brother Hope could ask for and yet he can not seem to find that same compassion for Brooke. But I think this is kind of Par for the course having the 2 kiddos so close in age. It is getting better as they get older (I think??). He has just started swim team. He likes it much more than he thought he would, despite the freezing cold water. Now if I could make myself not hate it so much...

Moving or not?

Some of you may know (some may not) that we have been trying to figure out if Raymond's company is going to offer him a position in Chicago. Well..we still don't really know. But, because of some recent meetings and talk, it looks like we will be here at least another year (and really this is just my opinion..I am not sure that you would get the same story from my darling husband). Whether or not this is the truth of the how the future will go ,or not, is not my concern. It is much easier to live based on the assumption that we will be here for at least the next football/girl scout season.

Do I want to move? Yes and No. I am very happy with our life, house, friends, and all the roots we have here in VA. But would it be exciting (and really almost a dream come true) for me to live about an hour away from my mother and sister (along with other extended family)? Absolutely! Do I want to mooove? No. But I could not stay away from an opportunity to be soo close to my family. That is something that has never really been an option since my dad died almost 13 years ago. But if the opportunity never actually came to fruition I would be happy to stay here in VA and the great life we have built here.

We have been dealing with this issue for about 3 months now (and that is just the most recent time this has come up..there has been other times in the past also). And I have finally been able to come to a place of peace with our foreseeable future residence. It is very hard for me ( as I think it is for most people) to live a life of meaning and purpose, not knowing if we will be moving in the next 3-6 months. So at least with this latest information I can convince myself (if not my darling husband) that we will be here for the next 12 months. I can sign Will up for football in the fall and Brooke can start Brownies. And I can paint a room....which brings me to my next topic.

Pat.

We are not moving, yet, but Pat (my mother-in-law) is. She has been living with us since my father-in-law passed away 3 and a half years ago. She feels like it is time for her to be on her own. And although we support her decision, we will miss her. I think it will be as big of an adjustment getting used to her not being here as it was to having her move in with us. She is not going too far though...about 30mins away, very close to Raymond's brother. And boy do I have plans for that room!

So that's it. Us, in a ,very long, nutshell. I am not sure when I will update again...probably July. June is our big traveling month this summer. So, grab your sunscreen and let's get summer started.

not the trip I had planned

2009-03-25T09:10:00.002-04:00

Sometime last week I decided to pack up the kids and visit my sister and her family in MI. Ray was heading out of town for work and he would be gone for Hope's first "homecoming day" and Brooke's birthday. The kids and I had a bit of "cabin fever" so I thought it would be fun to celebrate these 2 special days with my mom and my sis.

So I drove up this past Fri. (only took 12 hours..which I am quite proud of thank you very much). Sat. we went out to dinner at a Korean restaurant near my mom's house. It was great! The food was wonderful. Everyone had a good time and even my ultra picky eater of a son tried things and had a good attitude. I know this sounds weird but, it felt really good to refill Hope with Korea, food, smells, faces. Strange I know. It was a wonderful way to celebrate having Hope in our family. And we are all looking forward to going back, next time we come up.

On Sunday our trip took a bit of a twist. We all went to church. Of course I was in and out of the service with Hope. Finally as the service was coming to and end, the boys headed out to walk the halls with Hope for few minutes. Then my sister turns to me and says "I am NOT okay". She and I head out to the restroom. She is having arm and chest pain, nausea, light headedness...all things that sound very much like a heart attack. We call 911 and end up in the emergency room. By the time she gets to the hospital she is feeling fine, but the tests indicate that there maybe some heart damage so they decide to keep her over night and do an anagram in the morning. Luckily they did not find any blockages..it appears this happened because of some kinked veins. But truthfully we don't know as much as we would like to at this point. And getting her out of the hospital (when they were completely done with her...no IV, fully dressed..no orders for her whatsoever) well that story is probably a whole post in and of it's own. So officially she had a "Minor Cardiac Event" , however for our family it did not feel very minor.

Now that she is home, she is less and less sore from her anagram and things are returning to normal. If I could only get her to call the cardiologist for her follow up appointment, then I would be happy.

10 years ago...

2009-02-24T17:46:00.003-05:00

10 years ago today...

* I woke up and thought, "We should take our bags with us to our OBGYN appt today".

* I made a mess in my Dr.'s office when my water broke.

* We learned Pitocin makes me nauseous and is not all that effective for inducing labor, for me.

* Raymond and I heard Will's first cries, followed directly by my own tears of joy.

* Raymond got to go out to the waiting room and tell our family and friends that we have a son!

* Raymond and I became parents!

* Both sets of our parents became Grandparents.

* We got to hold our perfect little boy in our arms for the fist time.

That day, 2/24/1999, was wonderful and hard and life changing for a lot people. Today we will celebrate Will's 10th birthday, but to me it is so much more. It is the day I became a mom, Raymond became a dad, my mom and mother-in-law became grandmothers , my sister and sister-in-law became aunts, and our brothers became uncles. Those titles are life changing.

For the past 10 years we have been celebrating Will's birthday with parties and presents and cake. But for some reason this year seems like a bigger milestone for the rest of us, or at least for me. I have been a mom for 10 years. That is not a novice mother anymore. If you have had the same job for 10 years I think you better know what you are doing. The question I ask myself is "Do I know what I am doing?" or should someone have fired me a few years ago?

I know for sure I know more about raising kids now than I did 2/24/1999. I have learned and grown along with Will. It truly is amazing how much our kids teach us while we are trying to teach them. When we try to teach them about how to act, it sure points out the things we don't like about how we act, and how hard it is to change those things. They teach us about our own capacity for love and patience by pushing our limits further and further. And then when you least expect it they give you a glimpse of the payoff for the work you have put into them, by doing something amazing.

I feel honored and blessed that God has given me the opportunity to raise my children.

Happy Birthday, Will! Thanks for making me a mom!

Home again , home again

2009-02-02T07:12:00.002-05:00

Well we decided to stay one more day at Disney (we always do that..I should know better by now). So we got home about 1am Sun. morning. Yesterday was kind of a blurr, there is still tons of stuff in the van to be unloaded, I do not feel like we have really unpacked at all. We did get some grocery shopping done and some recuperation.

So, the lowdown on our trip. First the bad news....I lost my camera (yep $500 gone) the first morning...I took one picture. Will was sick on Tues., like really sick, no fever, but no parks either, so we took a rest day. And it rained on Thurs. Ok, that's it for the bad news, on to the good news.

We had a great time. Hope was a trooper. She had, I think less than, the normal 19month old screaming fits. She looved to ride rides although she was not too sure about the characters yet. By the end she was willing to give them "five".

The only thing we will do differently in the future is more planning. In the past I have had a much more detailed itinerary and we have been more comfortable with that. The making decisions in the heat of the moment thing just stresses us out.

For the most part the weather was great (65-75). The crowds were more than I expected or prefer, but not unbearable. Overall a good trip! (except for that camera thing..that still stings)

So homeschooling...I love it! DH and I feel like a weight has been lifted off our shoulders. I mean I knew that public school came with stress, but I had no idea the relief we would feel when we started homeschooling. It felt like I was trying to cram soo much into the few hours after school and before bed with , cleaning rooms (basic household chores), homework, family time, dinner, any extracurricular thing(basketball or choir etc), letting the kids have some down time, it was just not working for us. This is working for us. The kids have plenty of time for all that stuff, and home school work. Plus there are no "projects or reports" unless we feel up to it as a family, and then they can be done together ...as a family.

Ok, I have to admit the kids are starting to get a little bored. But I think I can fix that. We started really slow to try to figure out a schedule that will work for us (still working on that) but now I think we are ready to add more subjects. I am going to try a "unit study" approach. Basically , history, science, reading, writing, and bible, are all going to be centered on the same topic (Light is our first one). And it will all be teachable to both grade levels, so we will all be working together.

Between going to Disney and starting our new curriculum I think boredom will be a thing of the past.

Heading out

2009-01-23T20:08:00.002-05:00

We are heading down to Disney World in the morning. What time are we leaving? ....whenever we can get out of here. We are not that good a sticking to a schedule so why stress ourselves by making one in the first place. Right now I will be happy if we can just get the new shell thing for the top of the van strapped on and everyone packed and in bed by 11pm. The we will get up at some sort of earlyish time in the morning, 6 or 7, and hopefully make it out of town before noon.
Then yes we will drive straight through to the most magical place on earth. We may not get there before our carriage turns back into a pumpkin, but we will be at least be able to have breakfast to with Lilo and Stitch on Sunday morning.

Well, my DH is being relentless nagging me to get off the computer so I will have to update you about how homeschooling is going when we get back. Sorry for the teaser.

The season tis over

2008-12-29T14:03:00.007-05:00

I just thought I would check in now that the bulk of the holidays are over.

I think Hope enjoyed her first Christmas, as much as an 18 month old can. She liked opening the gifts and demanded that they either be taken out of the box immediately or taken out of her sight. The big kids loved helping her open her gifts, maybe a little too much.

We gave the big kids ( and Hope too, but she is too young to understand) a trip to Disney for Christmas. It was really fun to watch them figure it out. First we gave them new suitcases, taped a note on the top telling them that they would be using these very soon, but they had to do a scavenger hunt to find out where they are going. Then they each had a clue with a letter on the back that lead to the next clue. They were running all over the house trying to find their next clues. Once they found them all they had to work together to unscramble the letters of DISNEY WORLD. I think Brooke was the one that actually figured it out first then Will put the letters in the right order. They are very excited. Lots of fun.

Now that the New Year is approaching I am preparing more and more to home school the big kids. So you ask why? Why are we choosing to educate our own children? Well, our standard answer is "Our decision to home school is a reflection of our desire for a more family centered lifestyle". But you want to know more than that, I know you do, otherwise you would not even bother reading my blog.

We loved the kids public school and all of the teachers they have had. We have no problem with what or how they were being taught. Our children are not highly advanced learners nor did they struggle with learning or social issues..really everything was going just fine. Except they were not with us 8 hours (counting the hour before school we spend fussing at eachother) out of say 14 of the hours they were awake each day. And although we all need time away from our kids, we feel like that amount of time away from us was impacting their behavior in a way we did not want.

We believe that homeschooling will give us the time and flexibility to foster a connection with our kids that we were finding difficult to achieve with the demands of public school. And after doing much research we are confident that we can find and use resources to teach our kids at or above the same achievement level as the public school setting. And it will give us the opportunity to teach them to their individual strengths and weaknesses, in ways that a teacher with a class of 20 or more could not accommodate. And we will get to be part of all of the learning experiences that excite and interest them, instead of just hearing about it after the fact. Our area has great home schooling resources. There is a group right here in our neighborhood and a very large group at a church near to us that we are planning on being involved with. So don't worry our kids will get plenty of social interaction as well, especially running around outside with all of our neighbors in the afternoon.

Although our family is not growing in number right now, we are embarking on a new journey of growth and learning.

A quiet Thanksgiving

2008-11-28T08:55:00.006-05:00

I was told recently that I needed to update my blog more often (Gail). So I hope this update meets those requirements. Plus I changed to look of the blog again, I thought I would make it more Christmasy. If you know me, you know I can be kind of Scroogy, so this is my attempt to "get in the spirit". Don't say I didn't try.

We had a quiet Thanksgiving at home this year. Hope's 1st American Thanksgiving, I know there is a "thanksgiving" in Korea but it is very different. Hope enjoyed having everybody home and watching the parade. However she was none too happy that Mama could not give her my full attention with all the cooking I was doing.

This was really the first time we had ever not gone somewhere or had family over. And all though I don't want to continue this as a tradition, I was surprised that it was not the worst thing in the world either. The kids really wanted to (and did) help. On Wed. we made dessert for Thanksgiving, all together, with each of them pouring and measuring, and getting to lick a spoon at the end. And all day yesterday asked what they could do to help. They emptied the dishwasher twice, set the table, peeled a potato, made butter, and got drinks for everyone. Then afterward they even helped clean up , no joke. Aaaand they said Thank You. I was amazed. After dinner they both wrote down what they were thankful for, nothing out of the ordinary, but sweet nonetheless.

We really do have some great kids and the more I spend time with them the more I see it. Maybe that is why we decided to home school. But more on that later. Hey, I gotta leave you wanting more. ;-)

Daddy's girl

2008-10-28T15:59:00.002-04:00

Well...I did it. I left Hope. I was gone for 4 nights. And we both survived.

I flew out to San Francisco to go to my brother's wedding. The original plan was for Hope to come with me, but at the last minute we decided it would be best if she did not. So I left Raymond at home with all 3 kids, with just his wits and his mother to help him.

It turned out to be the perfect decision for everybody. It would have been much more difficult than I imagined having Hope in SFO with me, given all the circumstances. And it was not quite as difficult ,for Raymond to have all 3 kids, as he feared. And it gave us all something we needed: me time to be responsible for only myself for a few days, and Raymond some bonding time with Hope without Mom there to take over. So I came home a refreshed Mommy and I also came home to a Daddy's Girl.

When she saw me for the first time this morning she kind of looked at me sideways..as to say.."oh so you're back, huh?" She has some new words for me to try and understand, and I am sure she grew by 25lbs (ok not quite but it sure felt that way). As to my concern about my absence having a negative impact on Hope's attachment to me, I haven't noticed anything yet, I suppose time will tell.

Today I just feel so blessed to have all of my family. My three great kids, the 2 older that were such great helpers to Raymond while I was gone. My Hubby of 14 years , always up for the challenge of taking care of all of us. My mother-in-law, without which, I know we would spend sooo much more $$$ on babysitters. My mom and step-dad that made my trip to SFO possible. My brother and sister that are just the most generous and supportive siblings a girl could ask for.

Sorry for all the gushing. I guess I am just in that "returning from vacation euphoria".

6 months

2008-09-22T11:28:00.004-04:00

Can you believe it has been SIX months since Hope came home? Sometimes it seems like just yesterday that we were waiting to get the phone call telling us that she was ready to come home. And other times I can't remember what our family was like without her in it. I look at pictures of the baby that I brought home March 22, 2008 and I hardly recognize her. It is hard to believe she is the same baby that is running around the house and pulling everything out of the pantry as soon as she gets a chance.

The baby I picked up in Korea was tiny and had this dark thin little Mohawk of hair.

Hope is 21 lbs and growing like a weed, with a head full of silky dark hair.

The other baby would have much rather have been with a Korean family (any Korean family).

Hope will hardly leave our sight for a minute. She finally stayed in the nursery at church for the first time this Sunday (thanks to our sweet friend ,Sally, who held her the whole time).

The baby I brought home would not take a bottle from any of us (until due to dehydration she finally gave in 4 days later).

Hope loves snuggling up with me and a "baba" before naps and bedtime.

She is not that other baby anymore. She is our beautiful, sweet, head strong Hope. She loves her family..especially all the attention she gets from her brother and sister, she can hardly contain her excitement when she sees them come off the bus from school. She loves to pet the cats and bark at every dog she sees. She dose not like to sit in shopping carts, she wants to ride in the comfort of her stroller. She wants to feed herself, but only with the proper utensils. She loves music class on Friday morning, the girl can turn anything in to a drum. And she is always ready to go "bye bye" even if she has no clue where we are going.

To watch this transformation has been a blessing. And to have the privilege of having her in our family is an even bigger one. Now that she has been home 6 months we will soon be able to finalize her adoption. Our family has forever been changed for the better.

Home Sweet Home

2008-08-25T12:14:00.002-04:00

We are home at last!

Our spur of the moment vacation to San Antonio turned out to be a blast, in spite of the rainy first few days.

Tues afternoon the weather cleared and the kids and I headed to a Wildlife animal Safari. It was really fun to drive through and feed ; buffalos, deer, zebras, ostriches, and wildebeests.

Wed. we went downtown to meet up with our previous neighbors. We toured The Alamo, and went to the Tower of the Americas for a birds eye snack and drink in the lounge. Then to our neighbor's new house and out to dinner with them. It was great to reconnect.

On Thursday the kids and I needed a break so we layed low at the apartment for most of the day. I was reminded that all kids really need to have fun is each other, but a pool and a few pennies don't hurt either. We spent a few hours at the pool while the big kids dived for pennies and Hope and I waded in the water. That evening we headed back to the River Walk for a fun dinner at the Rainforest Cafe'. After Hope got over the gorilla and the rainstorms at our table dinner was a blast.

Fri. Raymond took 1/2 the day off and we headed back to give Seaworld another try. It was muuuuch better. I don't think it was as good as the one in Orlando, but we enjoyed ourselves.

Then Sat. it was time to travel home. Was it a piece of cake?..no, but it was not as bad as it could have been either. I think we will do something like this again, probably next summer.

Now it is time to get organized for school to start. We are all excited to go Thurs. night to find out who the kids's teachers are and who is in their classes. And then school starts next Tues. Yes, in case you are wondering, I will be doing the happy dance as the bus pulls away with my 2 oldest on it. The summer has been great and I have enjoyed having the freedom with the kids to do fun stuff. But now I am ready to get everyone back to a routine. We all need a little more balance.

Raining in San Antonio

2008-08-19T10:22:00.002-04:00

Well I made it through; the 4:30am wake up, the checking of 4 items (one of which was a huge ,over the weight limit, bag that had to be redistributed)with 3 kids and only 2 hands, 2 flights with a 7yr old that had not flown (that she could remember),a cranky 1yr old, and a 9yr old that believes he is now an old pro at this flying thing. Oh and did I mention the connection, where we only had 1hour to get to our next flight and eat breakfast (that I paid $30 for and we only ate about 1/3 of). But we made it, with all of our luggage, all 3 of my kids, and most of my sanity.

So, the next day, off to Sea World we go. Ugh! Thank goodness we have season passes! It took us and hour to get there (only because of traffic) and it felt like we were there with about a MILLION other people in about 150 degree heat. We tried to have a good time and good attitudes, really we did, but about 2pm when we were at the back of a mile long lunch line, we called it quits. Headed for the air conditioned car, and the pool at the apartment. Unaware that this would be the last of the good (all be it HOT) weather for probably the entire week.

Raining. Raining in San Antonio. Thunder storms, showers, downpours, cloudy icky mess. No fun, in a city that is all about the outdoor activities. So no boat ride/tour down the S.A. river, no wildlife safari, no water park, even The Alamo would not be fun in the rain. Not the vacation I imagined in a city that sees at the most 3inches of rain in one month, but typically about an inch a month. This is why I am on the Internet, writing about all of this, and searching for our next indoor activity.

So long for now, from Rainy San Antonio.

On the Road/air again..

2008-08-14T20:05:00.003-04:00

We are heading off for a spontaneous vacation in the morning. Raymond has been in San Antonio, TX for work this week, and he needs to stay another week. So the kids and I are packing up to fly out to spend the next week there with him. It has worked out really nice, he ended up with a voucher from Delta because he got bumped on the way to S.A., so the kids and I can use that. And since he is there to work, we can all stay in the Corporate apartment his company has there (so no hotel cost). He is going to be working during the week, so I will end up with the kids by myself some, but the icing on the cake is that my sister and one of her boys are going to join us in S.A. for a few days. And I have a neighbor that just moved to S.A. about 7 months ago that I am going to get together with too. So I think if I can just get through a couple of flights alone with 3 kids, I will be good.

Today has been a whirlwind of packing and planning and thinking and freaking out. But it is 8pm our time and I think I am almost done and ready to go. Now I just have to set my alarm for 4:30AM. I know! Hope will not be a happy baby at 4:30a, but maybe that means she will sleep for most of the flights. Hey!, a mom can have dreams too you know.

Well keep us in your prayers...I know I will need it. ;-)

Pics from our trip.

2008-08-07T11:36:00.000-04:00

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

On the move.

2008-08-05T13:48:00.003-04:00

Sorry it has been so long since an update. We just got home from our yearly (usually) trip to Michigan to visit my family. We planned on staying a week. But that week went by soo quick and my sister and her family are such gracious hosts, we decided to stay another week.

My family all live with in about 2hours of Chicago. And I have only been to Chicago 1 time, my whole 34 years. Until this vacation. We decided to be adventurous. We took the kids to the zoo one day and my sister took the kids to Navy Pier, while Raymond, my Mom and I went to see "Wicked" the next day. Everything worked out really good and I am sure we will be going to Chicago much more often from now on.

In case you have noticed a change in the music I have playing..it is because I am now addicted to anything "Wicked". The show was amazing. If you ever have a chance to see it, go. No questions, just go. You will not regret it, I promise.

Hope has been "on the move" in more ways than just taking a vacation. She is walking. She had been taking a step here or there for about a month. Now she is walking across rooms on a regular basis. This all just goes by soo fast.

I will try to post some pics from our vacation when I get a chance. Have a great rest of the summer!

It is hard to sleep when you are...

2008-07-10T17:16:00.005-04:00

(If you are getting this from Feedblitz..check out my actual blog..I changed some stuff)

You may or may not be aware that Hope has had some variety in her sleeping habits. When she first came home she was great and she was sleeping longer and longer. Then about 6 weeks after she came home it started to hit a standstill and even get worse. Although she still has no problem going down, she has been getting up sometimes once, most nights twice and sometimes three times a night. And she will not go back to sleep without at least a few ounces of formula.

So, I was coming to my wits end as to how to help her and me sleep better. I have tried letting her fuss for a little longer each time, diluting her formula at night, putting her to bed earlier and later. Nothing was working. I had basically given up. This process happened naturally with my other 2 kiddos I figured it will eventually happen naturally with Hope too.

Then a couple of nights ago I had an abnormally hard time putting Hope to bed. I would lay her down and then a few minutes later she would be howling again. About the 3rd time I went up I noticed that her arms and legs seemed cool to the touch. I always cover her with a blanket, but she rolls and kicks it off. This time she seemed so cold I wanted to make sure she stayed covered. So I put her in a baby SleepSack (they are a zip up blanket with holes for her head and arms). She slept 12hours straight! The next night she was only up once. I imagine it is hard to sleep when you are COLD.

You would think ,this being my 3rd baby, that I would know how to keep my child warm. That's the thing about mothering...each kid teaches you something new.

Note to self: Keep baby warm.

Hope is 1!

2008-06-25T16:37:00.002-04:00

Make a Smilebox postcard

Hope turned one yesterday. We had a party for her on Sat. I think she really enjoyed all the attention. And I know she loved the food ;-). We did make an attempt at the Korean Dol table. I did not do any fancy decortations for it, but we dressed her in her Hanbok and set out some objects for her to choose from. She picked the calculator first (I put that out because Raymond is a CPA) so we think that means she will follow in Daddy's footsteps and be good with numbers. And then she picked the $, which ofcourse means she will have lots of wealth. So I guess we will find out in 20 years or so if that holds true.

Yesterday we put the waterslide back up and invited all the neighbors for a water and popcicle party to celebrate. She had lots of fun with the popcicle as you can see from the pictures above.

She is such a wonder girl. We feel so blessed to have her in our family.

But with her birthday comes the reminder that she did not start her life in our family. I have found myself thinking about her birthmom often the past couple of days. I am sure she is thinking of Hope often during this time also. Wondering where she is and what she looks like. I hope her BM has seen her file at the agency in Korea and knows ,atleast, that she is with us, safe, healthy, and loved. And I hope that she has found some peace and comfort in knowing those things.

Church nursery woes.

2008-06-08T14:06:00.002-04:00

I just got home from church and I cried most of the way home.

I have been trying to transition Hope into the nursery for the service. The last 2x we went I spent most of the service in the nursery with her and she has been great. In fact the last time I felt a little silly for not leaving her, because she pretty much ignored me the whole time. So today I thought I would take her in again, stay for a while and if things were going well, I would leave her and see what happens.

Before the service started I dropped off my big kids and then went to the nursery to drop off Hope's bag and talk to the worker. I told her that I would be back to play with Hope and that if things went well I would try to leave her for a bit...but that Hope had just come home a couple of months ago and I did not want her to fuss or cry. So if she made even a peep I was to be paged. I said do not wait, I don't mind coming back, I do not want to push her...page me as soon as she starts to fuss at all. We continued our conversation with her having a friend that adopted a little girl from China and the processes and so on..and she agreed to page me if Hope had any issue.

I took Hope to the service with me for a bit (singing and such) and then once things got quieter and Hope did not I took her back to the nursery. I sat with her and played for a bit, then I moved across the room and sat in a chair while she played with the other babies and the attendants. Everything was going well, after about 15mins. so I told the attendants I was going to try to leave, but if she even "peeped" to page me, don't wait. They said fine and I walked out and stood by the door a minute to see if Hope would fuss right away. After about a minute she still seemed fine so I went into service.

15 mins later I sent Raymond out to check on her. He came back and said that she was fussing and crying . My first thought was "why don't you have her in your arms???? " But I could not yell at him in church..so I went straight to the nursery, took my, red eyed teary daughter from someones arms, grabbed her bag and walked out with out saying anything. I was sooo angry and upset. Then I took her in to the "nursing mothers lounge" where I could let her play and cry my eyes out.

Before I left church I did talk to the children's pastor and let him know what happened. And that at this point it is a trust issue I now have with the nursery staff. I can not trust that they will do what I ask them to do, for MY daughter. And I was very clear about what to do if she fussed at all. It makes no difference when she came home, whether she is adopted or bio, or how old she is. They should have done what her mother told them to do, period. Call if she fusses, period. How can I possibly trust that they will call me next time or ever, if there is a next time. He apologized and said he would certainly talk to them about it. But what do I do now?

I don't know when I will be able to trust them again, if ever. And I want to go to church, and listen to the service. We don't have a crying baby room. We only have that "nursing mothers lounge" that dose have a video feed most of the time (though not today). I suppose I will spend my Sunday mornings in there with Hope until I feel up to trying to trust again. Sorry for such a long post....I am just soo soo sad right now.

Hope seems no worse for the wear at this point. I am the one with the scars.

I'm alone.

2008-05-31T09:07:00.002-04:00

Yep, that's right. I am alone in my own house for the first time since Hope came home. It's not that I haven't left her before...to run an errand or go to something at school for one of the big kids...but this is the first time that I have not had her with me and I am at home.

I remember this feeling with the other kids too...the house is so quiet and I am not sure what to do next. But it is nice, I have to admit.

So where is everyone, you ask? Well, this is the craziest weekend of the year for us. Daddy took Will to his last soccer game (and breakfast at McD), and Hope and Nana went with them. Brooke is at a sleepover and I have to pick her up in an hour to take her to her dance rehearsal for her recital that is tonight. When they get back from soccer, Daddy will put Hope down for a nap and Nana and Will will stay home with her while Daddy goes to coach Brooke's last softball game, that she will not be at. We should all be back home around 2pm. Then Will and Daddy are going to a birthday party to play laser tag from 4:30-6:45, then they will meet us at the recital. Brooke, Nana and I need to be at the recital by 6:15p. And since Brooke recital starts at 7pm and she is preforming very near the end, Hope will not be able to make it, so Peggy (our wonderful neighbor) will come over at 6pm to babysit Hope for the evening. AND THAT IS JUST TODAY! Tomorrow we have church, a picnic that is 3 hours away, drop Dad at the airport (to be gone the whole week), and then a 3 hour drive home. (take deep breath here)

Although we are a busy family, this is not a normal weekend for us. If it were, I would go bananas. It is just this time of year, everything ends and summer starts and it all happens to hit us this weekend. Once we get through this things will slow down for us, a little.

So this leaves me alone, for now. I get to take a shower, with out being too rushed. I get to think, without being interrupted. And it is quiet...I love quiet. But eventually, I will start to miss them, just not quite yet. ;-)

2 months

2008-05-22T13:02:00.006-04:00

The past 2 months have flown by. It feels like Hope has always been a part of our family. The transition has gone better than we could have hoped. I think everyone has settled in to their new place in our family. So well in fact, we are even thinking we might do this one more time. I know, we are crazy. That's not news though is it?

Here are some pics from the past 2 months....Enjoy!

All the grandkids at Hope's dedication.

Hope being cute, at her dedication. At Will's soccer game.
She loves to take a bath.
Her new favorite activity.
Give the girl a pot and wooden spoon, and she is happy.

Sick baby :-(

2008-04-30T10:01:00.002-04:00

Hope has been sick the past few days (since Fri night). At first I thought it was just teething..then I thought maybe strep and took her to Patient 1st (Sun night). Then we went to the Dr because her fever came back on Tues. But now it looks like it is just a bad stomach bug. :-(

She has been soo pitiful the past few days. Lots and lots of cuddling and crying, and whining and diaper changing. The crying is mostly when she is not in my arms. Everyone has tried to console her when I have to do something selfish like go to the bathroom, or run to target for more diapers and Pedialite. But really I am the only one she will settle down with. Which, from an attachment stand point, is a good thing. Truthfully I can handle all of the baby clingyness, but then you throw in the two boys in the family thinking that they are getting sick, and you end up with 1 tuckered out Mama.

At this point it looks like everyone is on the mend. The boys are back at work and school (thank goodness). And Hope is at least eating and drinking, and keeping the food and fever down. Now if I can just the get the house on the road to recovery we will be good.

One month ago...

2008-04-22T11:00:00.003-04:00

One month ago today...

I came off of a plane crying for joy.
We ended one journey and started a new one.
We became a dream come true.
My heart grew to accommodate the love for 3 kids.
We became a family of 5.
I become a mother of 3.
I watched as my husband fell in love with yet another woman.( that makes 3 now)
I saw Brooke become the big sister she was meant to be.
I watched as my son fell in love for the 1st time. (even he could not believe it)
I totally fell in love with my new baby girl.

What a month we have had. We are truly living the best case scenario. Hope is amazing, Will is wonderful, and Brooke is in heaven. Going from a family of 4 to a family of 5 has be a pleasure. I am sure that has a lot to do with the fact that my 2 big kids are 7 and 9 , not 2 and 4. And I know it has mostly to do with the fact that Hope is meant to be in our family. Some days I think, "How did my baby get conceived and born in South Korea?". It is just amazing, when you think about it. She is totally,100% , an Elmore. There is no question. I don't know how to explain how it happened or when it happened, but it did and we have all finally found each other. It feels like a missing piece to our family puzzle is found and the picture is so much clearer now that she is home.

Will and Brooke are great helpers. And they want to spend time with her. She is a burden to no one. They can not wait till she gets up so they can play with her and hold her. They are more responsible for things around the house. And I think they are even getting along better with each other (but don't tell them I said that) ;-). Hope has changed our family dynamic in the most positive ways.

Did I mention the baby will eat anything? Well almost anything, she hates baby food. But other than that she eats like a champ. All soft veggies, fruits, meats, breads...you name it and she will try it, and she has not met a food she dose not like. She is great to take out places. At first I was having a hard time finding her schedule for eating and napping...but now I see it as flexibility. If we are out she will eat when we do, or snack along the way. She can take 2 naps when we are home all day, or one if we are out most of the day. The only thing that she is still a little ridged about is her bottles. I am the only one that she will take a bottle from. She only occasionally will eat a bottle while we are out. She likes her bottle warm (not luke warm, not hot, not tepid) and she likes to have her bottle in her room in the glider, and only before she goes to sleep (nap or night time) not when she wakes up ( and if she could please hold her "taggie" blanket while she eats that would be great too).

Everyday (several times a day) I thank God she is in our family. I am thankful that I get to spend my days with her. I am thankful that we are all in love with her. I am thankful she is happy when she sees her brother and sister. I am thankful that she crawls to the door the get a snuggle from Daddy when he comes home. I am thankful every time she gives us big open mouth baby kisses. I am thankful every time she smiles, and laughs. And I am thankful every time she reaches for me to hold her.

My thoughts on our tip to Korea

2008-04-07T08:00:00.003-04:00

Seoul, South Korea is wonderful!

From the moment we arrived everyone we ran into was helpful. I mean without being asked. Men would help us deal with our suitcases. The staff at the hotel we stayed at helped us with any request we had, they let us use the computer in their business center, when I don't think we were really suppose to. The Door Man translated part of a letter I received from our agency in Korea so that the cab driver knew exactly where to go. And I just have to say, I love the bowing. It is the perfect way of saying to someone you know or not, Thanks, Nice to see you...so much better than our old standby of "How are you doing?" when we don't really want the answer.

Seoul was clean. I never felt unsafe or as if anyone was looking at us oddly. We got more attention the day we had Hope, but I think that was just because she is so darn cute ;-) . It was easy to get around to the places we wanted to go. Did I mention that the Seoul city bus tour started right outside our hotel? Sooo convenient. Took us everywhere we wanted and then some. It was a great trip, but I think I should take some of the credit for it ;-) .

I did my research. I did most of my research by gathering info and opinions of other adoptive families that have gone to Seoul to get their babies. And so I think armed with that info I made some really good choices. I must say by far the best choice I made was to ask my sister to go with me. (ok, now I am in tears so you have to take that into account as you read the rest of this post).

I knew, that she would take care of me. I knew she would keep a level head, when I could not. But I truly had no idea what kind of selflessness she was capable of . There was no time that she put her needs above mine or Hope's. Even with her broken foot, no feat was too hard, no request for help was too much. She was there to encourage me, support me, and truly help me in every way. Whether that meant walking Hope up and down the aisles of the plane, when I could not walk anymore, or giving me encouragement while I consoled a grieving baby in the middle of the night. All the while taking pictures and video of this once in a lifetime event.

And she did not stop once we were home. Keeping track of what we were all going to eat for the next meal, and making sure I ate it (at least some). Helping with the big kids's comings and goings. Laundry, keeping the kitchen tidy, and helping me to keep things running. All the while her own family is without her for 10 days. I know a lot of time went in to preparing her 3 boys and husband to be without her for soo long. I can not say Thank You loud enough, or enough times for her to truly know what it meant for her to be with me on this journey.

It is my fervent prayer that one day my girls will be blessed by their relationship the way I know my sister and I have.

2008-03-27T12:03:00.001-04:00

Make a photobook - it's easy!

These are some pics of our trip. Enjoy.

Sorry it has taken soo long to get them up....someone is keeping me a little busy. ;-)

Our family has grown

2008-03-23T22:27:00.002-04:00

We are home and pretty settled in. Hope is a pure joy to have. We are all in love with her, even Will, who did not want another sister. As I was putting the big kids to bed tonight, I whispered in Will's ear " I think you like your baby sister"..and he said "NO, I love her" Ugh...sooo sweet I almost lost it. Brooke is loving her too, she wants to help all the time, and doing a good job at it.

Ok so I will back up now and tell you how things went in Korea.

We left on Monday morning and arrived in Seoul Tues evening. The flight was fine, just long. We checked into our hotel and went right to bed, slept 10 hours straight. Then on Weds we went to meet Hope at her foster family's apartment. It was like a dream, we walked through the door and there she was crawling towards us. So petite, beautiful rosy checks, and these big dark chocolate eyes.

Like I said in my other post, she was very shy. We got down on the floor with her and her Foster Mom gave me a banana to feed her. Then she let me hold her and feed her pretty much the rest of the time we were there. It was soo wonderful to finally have her in my arms. Our visit lasted about an hour and a half...but it felt like 10 minutes.

On Thurs day we went shopping and sightseeing. And then on Friday we picked Hope up at the the agency. It went as well as anyone could have wanted. She recognized me and did not hesitate to come to me, as we went over the last bits of paperwork and other details. Then as we said good bye to her Foster Mom Hope got a little whiny, but once the door closed she was fine.

Until we got to the hotel room. Then she lost it. Lots of grieving. We ended up going back out just to get her out of the room. I popped her in the sling and started walking and she was happy as a clam. That night was not as bad as it could have been. We think we got about 6 hours of sleep total..again with lots of grieving for Foster Mom.

Sat morning we headed for the airport. On the flight from Seoul to Chicago, I would not say Hope was pleasant. But there were times she slept so we got through it, with the help of an older Korean couple.

Since we have gotten home things have just gotten better and better. I am clearly her first choice for comfort. And Raymond or I must be with her at all times, so we are playing pass the baby whenever one of us needs to do something we can't do with a baby attached to us. But we were very prepared for this stage, and we have missed the last nine months of holding and cuddling, so we are happy to snuggle her as much as she wants for as long as she wants.

Shopping

2008-03-20T04:53:00.002-04:00

Today was our shopping and sight seeing day. We were very lucky to find some very special things to bring home with us. We took the Seoul City Bus tour..we highly recommend it..10$ well spent. We are stopping in for a rest and then heading back out to one more market and dinner, since we are not sure what Hope will be up for after we get her in the morning.

I can not wait to pick up Hope in the morning. I know it will be very difficult for her, so I am glad that I will not be a totally new face when she sees me in the morning.

She is nowhere near as big as I thought she would be..I was really worried about the 6-9mo clothes I bought for her, but it looks like they will fit her just fine for a little while. She has been very well taken care of by her foster family. She is her FM 33rd baby! Her foster mother said that she has had 3 twin sets that she has taken care of and Hope has been more difficult than the twins...we found that funny...but her FM said that she did not mind because she is soo pretty. Too sweet. Hope is very attached to her FM so I pray that is carry over to attaching to me. We will see.

We will be getting into RIC at 4pm on Sat. and I think after tomorrow we will be very ready to come home. I will try to post once more after we pick her up.

Met Hope today!

2008-03-19T04:19:00.002-04:00

We just got back from meeting Hope. She is just perfect. She was very shy at first but then warmed up a little to me.

We will go back to pick her up on Friday.

I'll write more later.

We are here....

2008-03-18T22:20:00.002-04:00

My sis and I got here yesterday evening. And we ate and went right to bed...slept a good 10 hours, finally. We are feeling good today.

Now for the exciting news...we are going to meet Hope today! I will try to post more after our meeting.

Going to get my baby.

2008-03-15T09:19:00.004-04:00

With a good nights sleep, I think this concept is starting to sink in. I am leaving in less than 48 hours to get my daughter. Wow. I look at her pictures, that we have plastered all over the house, and just can not believe that I am actually going to get to bring her home with me. They are going to check my passport to make sure I am who I say I am , and then they are just going to let me take her home. Amazing. Sometimes I ask myself..what qualifies me to do this? Why us? How did we get so lucky? But then I remember the last 21 months of waiting, and paperwork, and Dr apts, and all the home study visits, and finger prints (please don't forget the finger prints), the research ( on adoption, attachment & bonding, being a multiracial family), preparing our kids and other family for this change in our routine and family makeup. I think it is a lot like labor though, I remember doing all of those things and I remember how painful it was at times to do and think about, but it all seems small in comparison to the gift I will be bringing home.

We really have been on a journey with this adoption. I don't think there is anyway someone could avoid it, really. There are so many times we questioned ourselves, our beliefs , our parenting skills, our ability to love and accept another child unconditionally. This journey changes you, I think all journeys do. Isn't that why we take them? To grow and stretch, our mind , our heart,and our spirit. And just think, it isn't over yet. Getting her home is just one step in this journey. Now we are starting a new part, adding her to our family.

Each step is exciting and scary. We have to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. And if we did not acknowledge that there is a "worst" out there, what benefit would that serve. In all reality, it could be very difficult for Hope to adjust to being here with our family. Maybe it will be the "best", but most likely it will be somewhere between best and worst. So in an effort of prevention, we are going to take the advice of other adoptive families and attachment research. We will be keeping Hope close to us, literally. Lots of holding and carrying, and for about the 1st six weeks Raymond and I will be the only ones to care for her (feeding, changing, putting to sleep, holding). Maybe this will be overkill. But isn't there a reason we chose to go to the dentist to get our teeth cleaned every 6 months? Teeth cleaning hurts a whole lot less than getting a cavity filled. And research and experience tell us that most people that go in for cleanings every 6 months cut down on the number of cavities and other oral health problems. So this is our theory. "Better safe than sorry", "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure", or being "over protective"...some have even said "obsessed". Call it what you want. It seems worth it to us, in the long run.

There is a link on the "Interesting Adoption Links" list here on our blog. One of the links is to 4everfamily , if you are wondering what the "worst" could be , check it out.

Sorry, I did not mean to turn this post into what seems, such a downer. I suppose this is all weighing on me as I pack, for Monday. Please don't misunderstand. I am excited to meet her and get to know her. And to see my older kiddos with their new sister. And to see my husband's face when he holds his new daughter for the first time. But I am also not a first time mom, so with that comes a perspective of knowing that this is not all going to be hearts and flowers. There is real work to be done ahead for us. But just as with the adoption journey, I know I will look back from this journey at some point and at all of the work ,that is ahead for us now, and it will all seem a small price to pay for the blessing I will be holding in my lap.

I'm leaving on a jet plane!

2008-03-14T13:07:00.002-04:00

Ok, I have our flights. We are leaving MONDAY 3/17. And we will come home 3/22. Just in time to spend Easter with Hope, and Brooke's birthday with her.

So here we go. I am not sure what else to say. I am kind of just a jumble of emotions right now. Hopefully I will be more articulate before I leave.

THE Call!

2008-03-14T10:26:00.002-04:00

Yep, we got THE call today. Hope is ready to come home! Wow, I am beside myself. Trying to make arrangements, and get a hold of my wonderful sister. I am going to try to leave on Sunday and come home on Friday. But I can't get the travel agent until 8am Pacifictime.

Needless to say, I am going a bit crazy, packing, doing laundry..making phone calls.

I will post again when plans are finalized.

P3

2008-03-12T13:36:00.003-04:00

I know you have no idea what that means, but trust me it is great! Another item off that, now very short, list of things that have to happen for Hope to come home.

P3, actually stands for packet 3 which is a bunch of papers the US Embassy in Korea sends SWS once they get our request for Hope to come to the US. SWS now has to fill out that paperwork and send it back to the US Embassy and then the Visa Interview will be scheduled. Then they will call us and tell us to come get our daughter.

Wow, can you believe it? It is really getting close. I am going to leave soon to get Hope. I am almost in total shock. I have a list a mile long of things I need to do before I leave. Yet I am almost paralyzed by the things running through my mind. It's so weird how that happens.

I guess I should go try to get some things done.

Thanks for the memories....NVC

2008-03-06T19:38:00.004-05:00

Well, I was a bad girl today. I called the NVC before my agency adviced me too :-0 . And guess what....we were logged in 3/3 and logged back out 3/5 (thats a good thing, incase you are not too adoption savy ;-) ) Yaaay! Another step down...look at that list just dissappearing before your eyes. It is a beautiful thing.

I can hear you now..."so when are you going??!!" Soon, hopefully. My guess (and I emphasize the word guess) is that we will get "the" call at the very earliest the end of next week (did I just say next week?) , but most likely the week of 3/17-3/21. If, big IF, we do get the call next week the latest we would leave would be 3/16, that would put us getting back home 3/21. I want to be back early enough to have a day to recover before Easter (and Brooke's b-day) or I would rather wait until 3/24 to leave. It would just break Brooke's heart if I was not here for her birthday (yep, I'm sure, I asked). But again, I feel that it is more than likely that we would not get the call until the week of 3/17-3/21...so then I would surly leave 3/24 and we would come home 3/29.

Of course this is all speculation. Something could happen to hold everything up, gov't issues, Hope could catch a cold, you name it. So I need you....PRAY, PLEASE. Pray that we all stay healthy, or at least in my sister's case, don't get any worse (love ya sis). I want to get my baby! So I am counting on all of you out there to get Hope ready and get us there and home safely.

I've done my part now it is your turn. ;-)

I'll post when I have more to knock off that list.

She's good to go!

2008-02-29T16:54:00.002-05:00

I just got off the phone with my sister and she is good to go to Korea. Thank you Lord! It turns out that she has the easiest kind of broken foot to heal from, if you decide that you are going to break your foot (not that my sister recommends it). So she is going to take it easy for a few weeks, but she is already on the road to recovery. Worse case she will be in a walking cast for our trip, which we think will be just inconvenient enough to get us special treatment at the airports ;-).

So back to the bliss of things moving along smoothly. And back to packing.

Just when things are going so well....

2008-02-28T10:47:00.003-05:00

..my sister breaks her foot.

No I am not kidding. She stepped off a curb wrong..and went to the ER. They think she broke a bone at the top of her right foot. Now she needs to see an Ortho. So my question is can she travel to Seoul, and walk around, and carry bags, and help me with Hope, in about 3 weeks. My guess is, probably not. :-( So we need to find a plan B.

I am just beside myself. I called Barker and they said as long as we call them by early next week, we can still have Hope escorted. I also have a call in to my brother to see if he would be able to make the trip with me. I just don't see how I could do it all by myself. I have never been to Seoul before. I have never adopted a baby before. I have never flown 17 hours with a baby before. Not to mention the emotional toll the entire process of meeting my baby for the first time, is going to take on me, and her. I just don't think I can handle all of that alone.

But I want to go, I think. I mean yes, I want to go. But, there are some pros to escorting. We can all meet her together. I don't have to worry about packing, and traveling, and flying for 17 hours with a baby. Unfortunately those are all pros for me not Hope. I don't see any benefit for her if we choose to have her escorted. And that makes me sad. Sad, that she would have to go through all of that with another stranger that is just going to hand her off to a bunch of other strangers (us). I am so torn. I truly don't know what to do.

Bye, Bye USCIS

2008-02-27T16:10:00.003-05:00

I just got an email from USCIS saying that our I600 approval is in the mail. Yippy!! Now everything goes to the NVC and then Korea. Our agency is seeing about a 3 week (weeks not months, Yes) wait from I600 approval to Travel Call. So it looks like I will go get Hope in March. Sounds good to me!

We still have a couple more steps before we get that wonderful call ,but as you can see our list of steps is dwindling. I love to see that list disappear.

I hardly have much left to do but keep packing. I need to pick up a couple of gifts for Hope's foster brothers and father. But that is about it. I just bought her car seat this weekend, and that is really I think the last baby thing that we needed to buy. At least until she gets home. I am sure all kinds of things will go on the shopping list once she joins our family. Maybe some more clothes, baby girls aaaallwaaays need more clothes ;-).

Well, I will post again as things keep moving.

Being Reviewed

2008-02-14T15:36:00.003-05:00

Okay, our request for Hope to come to the US is being reviewed. I just got an email from USCIS saying that there was a decrepancy with her birthdates on our paperwork. I emailed them back with all of the correct information and I pray that will be enough,so we can get approved and move on to the next step...NVC (National Visa Center). NVC dosn't really do much and then they send everything on to the Embysee. Truthfully I don't think any of the US agencies do much. They just look at all the paper work and approve it and pass it on to the next one. Sometimes they issue somthing significant like say a visa or something fun like that. ;-)But why this all takes so long??? Really I have no idea. They all send stuff snail mail to each other and so that takes time.

Oh and the other question I keep getting is "So do you know when you are going?" No....and we won't know anything in advance, ever. Really, we will just get a call saying "Come get your daughter". We may know when some of the approvals are done and so we may be able to guess we are getting closer, but we won't know for sure until she is ready to come home. So, no I will not make any advanced plans...no plane tickets until they call, no hotel reservations, nothing like that. Then once they call I will be frantic trying to make arrangements to get there as quick as I can. But, it's not like they will give her to someone else if I don't come soon enough. They like you to travel withon about a week, but they won't pass her on to the next person if you can't make it till the following week.

But don't worry, plane fares are not much if any more expensive on short notice. And hopefully we will be staying at the Guest House at the adoption agency in Korea, and they have really great rooms for families at great prices. I am really not too concerned about that part yet..I feel pretty prepared for that. I know I want to fligh from RIC to O'Hare (I know don't say it) so I meet my sis at O'hare and then we can make the 17hour (yep 17 not 7) flight to Seoul together. And then back through O'hare so there is an option for my Mom and StepDad to come meet Hope on our way home, during our layover.

Can you tell I have been thinking alot about all of this latly? Oh, and ya I have started packing. Hope is pretty much packed. Now I am starting to think about packing myself and my carry-on. Oh and her room is all done...I will post some pics. We used the same crib and bedding that we had for Will and Brooke. I love the color we painted the room and I hope you can see in the pics, that we put some butterflies as a border around the top. We still need to get some pics to hang that we love , but I am waiting till we find the right ones. Oh, and the "Pooh" pics above the changing table, those we used for Will and Brooke too. Gotta get her used to hand-me-downs from the get go ;-).

Well I think that is all for now. I will post again when I have new info.

LEGALS!!!!!

2008-01-31T15:08:00.000-05:00

Yes, we have Hope's legals. I guess they read my blog ;-) They must have sent them extra speedy.

I just got off the phone with Barker and they are sending her legals on to USCIS to process the I600. We have been really lucky with our USCIS office, they have been processing things really quickly for us, so hopfully that will continue. I think if all goes smooth we are looking at traveling to get Hope in about 6 weeks. Wow, I am sooo happy right now, almost as happy as I was when we got our referral.

Please pray that things run smoothly from here. There are still many steps and any of them could become a hold up. And we really don't need another hold up.

Pics but no legals

2008-01-30T15:05:00.000-05:00

Well, this post is somewhat bittersweet. We have new pictures of our sweet baby girl, which is great. However we still do not have her legal documents, which is not so great. SWS says the docs are ready to be sent. Great, now could you send them please.

On the upside, Hope is growing great and is very healthy. It sounds like she has a sweet personality and a good appetite. I am so happy she is healthy and happy, um can I have her now please.

Anyway enjoy the pics....

Make a postcard - it's easy!

Wishing for a year filled with HOPE!

2008-01-02T15:14:00.000-05:00

I never realized how much I used the word hope. "Hope you enjoy the pictures", "I hope you all are doing well", "Hope you have a great time on you vacation". I use hope a lot and hopefully I will be using it even more this year and all that follow.

I am ready for my baby to come home!

Now that the holidays (along with my distractions) are gone, I want my baby home. By no means is the house ready for her to come home, although we did paint her room and start to bring out some baby stuff. But what I mean is I, her Mommy, am ready for her to be with me. My arms long to hold her, my eyes need to see her, my ears want to hear her giggle and her cries. And most of all, my heart is ready to fall in love with her.

Unfortunately all of the agencies are not ready to send her. We still are waiting on her legals. Things really are at a standstill until we get those from SWS. I am sitting by my phone again waiting for yet another phone call to tell me that Barker has Hope's legals and things can start moving again. Then my life can move forward, as long as our future includes HOPE.

Until then, we will try to keep busy getting things ready for her. Putting the crib together, cleaning the garage, and various other nesting activies. My friends and family are giving us a shower to help us prepare for our transformation back to babyhood. I am not sure who is more excited about the shower, me or Brooke. She loves seeing all the baby stuff we are bringing out and figuring out what we are going to use it all for. I just hope I can remember how to use it all. ;-)

What's next??

2007-12-12T10:39:00.000-05:00

More waiting that's what's next.

We are almost done with our paperwork. I am sending a package out tomorrow and then another one on Monday. Then on Tuesday, we are going to USCIS to have our finger prints updated. After that we are back to our regularly scheduled programing already in progress The Waiting Game.

We will be waiting for a list of things. I have made a section on the blog (top right corner) especially for that list. But here it is in more detail..1st SWS has to send Barker Hope's "legals"(may take up to 8 weeks), then Barker sends the "legals" to USCIS. USCIS will the approve all of our paperwork (could be quick could be not), they send the approval on to NVC (national visa center) I am not sure what they do with them but it is taking about 2-4 weeks for NVC to send everything back to Korea. Ok so then Korea dose their thing (2-4 weeks typically). Finally, we will get a call saying "Come get your daughter!!!" And then we will scramble to get flights and hotel and finish packing and get on a plane ASAP. So there you go, sounds simple right? ;-)

Fun info:

I sent a package to Hope and her foster family today. I have always heard that it was expensive to send things internationally, but I had no idea just how expensive until today.

Any way here is what we sent:
-the Bunny the kids made, with a recording in the hand so she can hear their voices
-some small toys
-a couple of outfits
-a CD of lullabies and we will have the same one when she come home
-lotion, the same scent I will wear when I bring her home
-a blanket
-a soft picture book with pics of us

for the Foster Family we sent:
-a letter
-some chocolate
-coffee
-a pic book of VA
-vitamins (they take that as a sign that we want them to have good health)
-jelly belly's
-disposable cameras to take pics of Hope with.

I think that covers it. I'll post more when I have more info.

PS: Do you like the music I added to the blog? I love it!

2007-11-30T16:55:00.001-05:00

Well, it has been just a little over a week since all of the referral excitement, and we are moving ahead full throttle. I mailed all the acceptance papers to the agency on Monday and they forwarded them on to SWS on Wed. Korea should get them next week. And then they will do paperwork and send Hope's "legals" back to our agency. What are "legals"? Not sure, but we need them to bring Hope home, that's all I need to know.

This morning Pat, Raymond and I all went to get our fingerprints taken at the county sheriff's department. What they need them for I don't know, but my agency tells me we need to do it before Hope can come home, then I go get fingerprints done, it's that simple. And it looks like we will need to have our prints redone at USCIS, because the ones we did in 8/06 expire after 15 months. Why?, you ask me. I have no clue, but I don't care. They tell me to do them again, I do them again.

We have done some fun stuff for Hope too. We took the big kids to Build-a-Bear and they made a bunny to send to Hope. And we took them to BabiesRus to register. We let them pick out a toy and an outfit to send in her care package too. I think Will is coming around to the idea of having another sister, though he won't admit it yet.

I am beginning to feel the referral euphoria wearing off and nesting setting in. But that's a good thing, the preparations will help me keep my mind off the waiting (yea right).

Here she is!!

2007-11-21T15:59:00.000-05:00

We drove up to MD last night and stayed in a hotel, so we would not run in to traffic this mornging. We are so excited. We got to our appointment about 9am this morning and laid eyes on her pictures about 9:15a. We are smitten. She is totally precisous and healthy. No questions about her at all. We went over her file at the office and then drove striaght home to our Dr.'s office. The agency had faxed her info to them while we drove. Our Dr. looked at all her info and said she looks wonderful! So we are filling out the paperwork to accept the referral right now. What a total and complete suprise blessing. We are all extremely excited (well maybe not Will, he would rather have a brother). We have alot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

So we have lots of work to do in the next week or so, so we can get our sweet Hope home.

I am sure I will be carring around pictures with me, and I will try to post/email more. We are just gushing over them ourselves right now.

Thank you for all of your support!

It's a GIRL!!!

2007-11-20T13:13:00.000-05:00

Wow, I am shakeing right now. I can not believe I am typing these words.

It's a girl!

We are heading up for a meeting with our agency in the morning and we will have more details to share. But all we know right now is that she is healthy and beautiful. And she is a SHE!

Wow, more to come.....

more of the same

2007-11-14T13:29:00.000-05:00

Ok, There is no new info. I did finally speak with the director the Korean program at our agency. And she really did not have any new information for us (as I suspected). She says it was a good trip for her and the relationship between our agency and SWS (the Korean agency). She says more referrals are coming and babies are making their way home. But who those referrals are going to be for she dose not know.

Really I do feel better. (I have been pulling my hair out for the past couple of days.) Even though we don't have any more info than we had before I spoke with her today. I know I have said this a million times but we could get our referral tomorrow or next week or next month or next year. And there is just no way to control when it is going to come. So here I am, I am going to say it....I am letting it go. Whenever it comes, it comes. God already knows where our baby is and how he is going to get to us. So it is His job, not mine. (Sigh, deep breath)

Now what is my job is to update some of our paperwork. You see, some of the paper work we did, ohh back in fall of last year, is expiring. Yep. So things need to be updated. I don't think it is going to be all that difficult, but it still needs to be done, so when we get the referral all we have to concentrate on is the paperwork it will take to get baby home and not having to update all this other stuff.

Oh and ya...I got my passport by the way. Really it was not that difficult although it was more expensive than I would like. So you can imagine how excited I was to open my new passport, only about 2 weeks after I sent off the paperwork, to find that they spelled my middle name wrong :-o I even checked my birth certificate to make sure I had not been misspelling it myselft all these years. No it is true, my middle name is spelled Renee not Renne. So now I have to figure out how to fix that too. But at least I have plenty to keep me busy while I wait and wait and wait.....

no news

2007-11-05T08:37:00.000-05:00

Still no news.

I feel like I have to start every conversation with that statement. Don't get me wrong, I am not upset with anyone for asking the question "So have you heard anything?". My 97 year old grandmother died on 10/28 and I had to make an unexpected trip to M.I. this past week. So of course I saw all of my extended family, and that was the question that was on everyone's mind, even if they were trying not to ask me. I know the waiting is hard, and can be confusing especially for people who are not familiar with international adoption. Trust me the waiting is even harder for those of us that are all too familiar with international adoption.

The director of the Korean program at our adoption agency is in Korea right now. She went to visit the Korean adoption agency that they work with. It will be a great opportunity for her to gather information about how the process is going since the new regulations went into effect at the beginning of the year. And it will also give her a chance to check up on our file specifically. Hopefully when she returns, on the 13th, she will be able to share some piece of information with us about our file and if and when our referral is coming.

Truthfully, at this point I am not sure information about what is going on will do anything for us. I don't really care why we are not getting our referral, it must be a good reason. Lord, please let there be a good reason. I have to believe that He is in control and we are just waiting for the baby that belongs in our family. Please let him find us soon.

Time to get a passport.

2007-10-19T13:49:00.000-04:00

No, no referral yet. Just another post. Don't get excited.

Escort vs. Travel

There are pros and cons to both. One of the things that we found attractive about adopting from South Korea is the option of having the baby escorted to the U.S. We liked the idea of going to Dulles and heading to baggage claim as a family of 4 and leaving the airport a couple of hours later as a family of 5. No passports, no 19 hour plane rides, no jet lag, no eating strange food for 5 days, and no having to make last minute child care arrangements for the big kids. And the cost, with an escort you basically pay the same amount you would pay for 1 plane fare.

However, as time has passed we have begun to see the benefits of traveling to our child's birth country (this I believe is one of God's little gifts he gives you for waiting). I am drawn to go there, South Korea, this place where my child has been born. I want to see it. I want to interact with the people of my child's birth place. I want to be able to give my personal experiences of South Korea to him/her, not just pictures and words in a book. I want to meet his foster family and maybe get to see where they live. I want to see how his foster mother comforts him, and glean bits of knowledge about my child that I can from her. Where and how he likes to sleep, eat, play, and be held. Things an escort could not know, these are things only his foster mother can tell and show me.

And then I also think of my "big kids". Will they feel abandoned if I go get this new child a world away. I hope not. I will do everything in my power to not betray or abandon them. So Raymond will stay here with them. And they will all meet us at the airport when I bring their brother or sister home. In essence that is the way it would happen if I gave birth do another child. We would come home together from the hospital, this way it will just be the airport instead. And I will explain to them, if it were one of them, alone in another country being taken care of by another family, I would go get them and bring them home myself. I would not wait for someone to bring them to me.

But just because Raymond is staying home dose not mean I will be traveling alone. My sister, Erin, will be coming with me. I can not tell you how thankful I am that I will have her with me. She will be a huge support, getting me on the right planes, to places on time, taking pictures of the first meetings, and helping me find diapers and formula in a foreign place. I would not trade either of my siblings for anything. It is my fervent prayer that my kids will one day feel the same way about each other, all 3 of them.

An insightful story

2007-10-09T19:12:00.000-04:00

I read this on one of my BBs today. Seeing that I have been able to take 2 of my trips by plane, it doesn't totally fit our situation but some of it rings very true. I think this story really gives people who have never adopted a glimpse into what adopting feels like sometimes.

Different Trips to the Same Place
Author Unknown

"Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You’ve heard it’s a wonderful place; you’ve read many guidebooks and feel certain that you’re ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered on the trip.

So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there’s no seat for you; you’ll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait---and wait---and wait. Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, “Relax. You’ll get on a flight soon.” Other people actually get on the plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, “It’s not fair!”

After a long time, the ticket agent tells you, “I’m sorry, we’re not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat.” “By BOAT!” you say. “Going by boat will take a very long time and it costs a great deal of money. I really had my heart set on going by plane.” So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than by air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat.

It is a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three more times, marveling about each trip. Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia.

It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many wonderful friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who also traveled by sea rather than by air. People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are able to travel once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, “Oh, be glad you didn’t fly. My flight was horrible; traveling by sea is so easy.”

You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not the way you get there, but in the place itself."

Back to reality..

2007-10-02T11:24:00.000-04:00

We returned , just in case any of you were placing bets about whether we would come back or not. Unfortunately Bermuda has a very strict policy about whom they allow to take up residence, and we did not meet that criteria, but we did look into it (just kidding). We had a great time on the Cruise and getting to know each other again. Remembering what our relationship was like before we had kids. It is always wonderful when we take time for the 2 of us. Bermuda was beautiful, you should go if you ever get the chance.

Now on to what you really want to read about.......

No referral yet. I just got off the phone with our agency (isn't it funny how my postings always seem to follow a call to our agency ;-) )and they did get a few referrals towards the end of last month. It seems that we are getting closer and closer. The unfortunate thing is that they just don't know anything until the referral/s comes in the mail. They have no idea if they will get any this month or the next. There is just no guessing at this point. It could be any day in 2007 or 2008..that is my best guess.

So we just keep plugging along. Trying desperately not to think about the reality that our baby has (hopefully) been born and what he/she is doing. Who is taking care of him/her? What are we missing...rolling over, the first smile, the warmth of his/her soft head against my cheek. OK I have to stop now. See I just could go on like this all day, if I let myself. It would just be torturous. So I am off to the grocery store. Maybe that will help.

You're Invited....

2007-09-17T10:15:00.000-04:00

to my Pity Party!

I think we have hit, what I am referring to as the "September Slooowdown". And it stinks. I just called today and our agency has not gotten 1 referral for the month of September. So I don't think we are in any danger of getting our referral while we are "at sea" next week, or unfortunately, any time before we leave. This STINKS!

I really had high hopes for September..and they have fallen fast. I have tried to be a good and patient waiter...very little complaining, I think. But really I have hit my limit. I am done. I am totally over it, thank you very much. Next!

Please don't try to make me feel better...I know all of the things I should be thinking. "God's timing is perfect" , " He is working even though we can't see it"..ect. And I know that there are plenty of families that have waited much longer than we have. But right now none of those things are helping. I think I just need to let myself be fed up for a while. Okay, Party Over!

Raymond and I leave on Sat. for our cruise. So I won't have another entry until October. I am trying to prepare for leaving the kids for 7 days. I have never been away from both of them for that long. And usually when I leave them Raymond is home. Although I am looking forward to our trip..I am also a little concerned about making sure I set things up so Pat and my Mom can take care of the kids while we are away. That dose not leave much time for posting..not that there would be much info to post anyway.

Off to Bermuda!

Will's first Football game

2007-09-08T12:13:00.000-04:00

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

First day of School 2007

2007-09-04T10:31:00.001-04:00

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

Mooov'n up!

2007-08-31T11:02:00.000-04:00

If July was dead , in terms of referrals coming from SWS, then August is alive and kicking. There were tons. We are moving up that list for Barker very quickly. I can't say what number we are but it is in the single digits. I am so excited I can hardly think of anything else.

Ok I am thinking about school starting. And getting excited about that also. We went to orientation yesterday and both kids have great teachers. Brooke told me this morning she can not wait until Tues. so she can go to school. Will on the other hand told me he wishes summer would never end (that's ok I have enough enthusiasum to cover him). I have a feeling this is going to be a very exciting September ; ) .

It has really hit me that we could get a referral ANY day. Raymond and I decided to take a cruise for our 13th anniversary (also very exciting). We leave on 9/22 and won't be back until 9/29. We have been talking about doing it for a few years and just realized that if we don't do it this year, we will have 3 kids to find somebody to take care of while we are gone. But...I am nervous about getting a referral while we are at sea (I love saying that "at sea"). So if you could offer up some prayers that we get our referral before 9/22 that would be great. Then Raymond and I could just celebrate the entire cruise, how fun!?!

Now, I just have to try to keep in mind it could still be quite some time before we get "the call" for our referral. Sometimes people wait a long time for their baby to be ready for them. But this is a fun place to be right now..waiting for "the call".

busy days

2007-08-22T11:00:00.000-04:00

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

Looking up

2007-08-21T10:35:00.000-04:00

I just got off the phone with our agency and things are looking up!

She told me they got "quite a few" referrals this month so far. I can't get too specific ( and really neither can she). But she did tell me what # we are on the list...and if they get the same amount of referrals next month that they have gotten so far this month, we could theoretically get our referral next month.

But like I have tried to explain before, SWS dose not give out referrals based on how we are placed on a list. They try to give the right baby to the right family. So she said that really they are still quoting a 6 month wait from the time Korea received our file (which would be Nov for us).

I am just so happy that things are moving again I could dance. At least a referral this year looks like an obtainable goal again.

We always try to have faith that God is working even though we can not see it. And now it is so much sweeter when you can see His work in progress.

Unpredictable

2007-08-09T11:00:00.000-04:00

Just as pregnancy is unpredictable, so is adoption. The problem is with adoption, since we do have some options (domestic, International, different countries, when we start the process....) it leads us to believe that we have more control over the process than we actually do. And so when we fall into this pitfall, God is compelled to remind us of the truth..He is always the only one in control.

We were on vacation with my sister for the past few days and when I returned I got an email from our agency updating us on the progress of the Korea program. It contained lots of great info about how the program is going. We were specifically asked not to share much information on our blogs and BBs. However I think the stuff that I am about to share with you would be considered general knowledge to anyone interested in the Korea program.

The wait time from when Korea receives home studies to when we should expect a referral has increased (Duh!) Last summer it was about 2 months (we passed that on 7/28). It is now 6 months or MORE. Here are some reasons they are suggesting for that increase...

1 "Korean Governmental regulations require adoption agencies to seek a domestic adoptive home for all children placed for adoption for the first five months of the child’s life. Traditionally, SWS has been in the forefront of placing children domestically. Of the four agencies authorized by the Korean Government to place children for adoption, SWS has traditionally been the most successful placing children domestically.

2 There has been an increase in the number of birth mothers choosing to parent as a single parent, and therefore a slight decline in the number choosing to place their child for adoption.

3 SWS has reported that increased methods of birth control and termination of pregnancy have in part, contributed to fewer birth mothers placing their children for adoption."

What dose all of this mean for us....more waiting. And more changing of expectations. At this point, I do not expect to have a baby home by the end of this year. If we are average (ha!) we may expect a referral around Nov. and that would mean baby coming home around Feb.

They ended their update to us with this..
"As you know, all adoption, both domestic and international is unpredictable. Nonetheless, the Korea program remains the most predictable among all of our international programs. We know that the increased wait time has caught many families off guard and has resulted in many of you saying that you are increasingly anxious. We understand that you have had to shift your expectations regarding time frames and we will continue to keep you informed about any changes that may effect you and your family."

Ignorance is NOT bliss. It is much better to know and make plans based on realistic expectations. Ultimately knowing of course this process is still "unpredictable".

Trying to keep things in perspective

2007-07-30T10:06:00.000-04:00

"Faith never gives up. It knows that despite appearances, all is well. It can wait without signs or significant indications that God is at work, because it is sure of Him. ...Postponements are reasons to pray rather than grow anxious, impatient, and annoyed. They're opportunities for God to build those imperishable but hard-to-acquire qualities of humility, patience, serenity and strength. God never says, "Wait awhile," unless He is planning to do something in our situation- or in us. He waits to be gracious. So take heart! If God's answer tarries, "wait for it; because it will surely come" (David Roper for 'Our Daily Bread July 29 Sunday)

Someone posted this on one of the bulletin boards that I read. It is what Raymond and I are striving for in our attitude towards the wait for our referral. Faith that ,even though we have no daily reminder, a baby is going to enter our family in the (hopefully) near future.

It reminds me of when I was 1st pregnant with Will. I did not have morning sickness and there was really no physical daily indicator I was pregnant. All I had was the positive test stick from the home test I had taken. So I kept the home test stick on the bathroom counter, to remind me I was pregnant.

It feels similar in that I have to keep reminding myself that we are expecting a baby. I don't look pregnant (that can be a matter of opinion), I don't feel pregnant, but I am. So I try to keep reminding my self I am. I keep up with the adoption BBs and I am reading books about adoption and bonding. But it is hard at times to find a balance between reminding myself about the baby, and not dwelling on the wait.

2007-07-26T14:55:00.001-04:00

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

July isn't lookiing too hot either...

2007-07-26T13:14:00.000-04:00

Well I thought things were picking up with the referrals coming out of Korea. From what I have seen on the message boards there are atleast double the referrals this month so far compared to the entire month of June. That sounds really good. But (you knew there was going to be a "but") our agency has not recieved any. Not one this month yet. Nothing. Not a peep out of SWS.

It looks like SWS is sending very few referrals this month to any agency. Maybe they just didn't have a high birth rate in Feb this year. Maybe it is taking them a while to do paperwork and figure out how to run things with the new regulations. We don't know why this is happening and probably never will. And really it dose'nt matter why. What matters is what we do with the circumstanses we are given.

It is hard to wait. And I do wonder sometimes.."Did we do this to ourselves?" by procrastonating with our paperwork. Maybe. But there really is no point going down that road. Now all we can do is pray for our child,birth mother and foster mother. And for ourselves. So please keep us in your prayers. And we will keep you posted on any news.

Bye Bye June

2007-06-29T09:59:00.000-04:00

It is the end of June and nothing has changed. We (impatient parents waiting for referrals) were hoping/expecting to see a flood of referrals come in. But that is not what has happened. It looks like things are starting to move again, but no where near the pace we were all hoping for. The only thing we can do is have hope for July, I guess.

At this point I am okay with the waiting. It has been a month since we sent our home study to Korea and that is a short wait compared to other families I see on the message boards. I think with summer here we are keeping busy and have lots of other things to focus on....trips, the pools, 5 kids in my house...and house work. From this perspective, I would rather wait more now and wait less for the baby to come home after we accept a referral (like I have a choice ;) ). I just think that once I have the picture and we name him, I am going to form a bond with him that will cross hundreds of miles. And that is when waiting will take on an entirely different form.

So, bye bye June and bring it on July!

33

2007-06-20T11:31:00.000-04:00

Today is my 33rd birthday. I don't have any big revelations to share. I suppose I am where I thought I would be at this age, generally. I feel very blessed to have everything we have...family, house, health. Really I can't think of much else I would want. Of course you can always think of things that you want, but not that I really need. Mom got me/us a really great gift this year...2 hours with a personal organizer. She is coming on Friday. I am hopeful that she can help us get some plans in place before the baby comes. I do find as I get older I "want" to be more organized, even if I don't know how or always follow through with it. I crave it more and more. That may be due to the addition of more people and therefore chaos to the family too.

Nothing new on the adoption. Just thought I would check in on my birthday.

just a quick note

2007-06-14T16:52:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to update you about my last post.

There is still a slight chance, but it is most likely that we will not get to see the file. Which is really ok with us. So I know all of your prayers have really helped.

Now we are just back to waiting. We will let you know something when we do.

Cara

No we did not get a referral

2007-06-07T16:52:00.000-04:00

Ok, well we are trying to kind of keep this to ourselves so I am going to be purposefully vague. But I did not want to miss out on prayers for our situation...so I am going to try and tell you a little, so you know how to pray for us, but not too much.

We are open to looking at a referral , for a baby, but we may or may not be allowed to see the file. There are a few things that need to fall into line to make this happen. So basically we need prayers that whatever God's plan is will happen. If we should not get this referral, then we don't want it. But we also want to be open to whatever God has planned for our family.

We also need prayers for peace and patience. We will not know ANYTHING until Monday or Tuesday.

So Pray, pray , pray ...and I will update you when I can.

Officially Waiting for a Referral

2007-05-30T16:52:00.000-04:00

I got an email from Barker letting me know that our file was received in Korea on 5/28/07. So we are officially "waiting for a referral". We are all very excited. It will probably be a month or 2 before we hear anything.

We are rethinking names, trying to get a list together and then we will decide once we see the picture. We did pretty much the same thing with Brooke (we had a list of 3 and then picked after she was born) and we like the way that worked out. Hopefully it will work as well this time.

Barker is having a picnic on Sunday and we are going to head up there. It will be nice to maybe meet some families in our area that have adopted. It will be good for the kids too...to see and play with other multi-cultural and adoptive families. We don't really have that kind of network yet. I would love to have some other moms who have been where I am to connect with.

We will let you know when we hear anything.

In the Mail

2007-05-23T16:52:00.000-04:00

We got the revised I-171H in the mail and I scanned it and sent it off to Barker today!!! I spoke with Sue just now and she said she is putting our file in the mail to Korea today!!
I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. I want to go to BabiesRUs and buy buy buy. But I won't. I have to wait wait wait. We will be waiting now for a while. Hopefully we will hear something towards the end of June or in July. I will let you know when we do, I promise.

I don't think there will be much to journal about until then, but I will post any updates if I get them.

Thanks again for all of your support.

Good news..and not so good news

2007-05-18T16:52:00.000-04:00

Hip hip hooray!! We got the I-171H from USCIS today. But wait..it's wrong. I think I need to back up before I tell you what is wrong about it.
When we first sent in the application to USCIS to adopt a forgien orphan we applied to adopt one child (you have to put the maximum # you want). Then as time went by we thought maybe 2 would not be such a bad idea. So we made some calls and emails and because we had not done the home study yet we were able to change the number on our form to 2 children. Or so we thought.

The bad news is that when the I-171H came in the mail today is says that we are approved to adopt 1 child. So now we have to do more leg work to see if we did not qualify to 2 or if the change we made to 2 is not reflected and how hard it is going to be to get this all fixed.
Now wait just a minute don't get all excited that we are going to get two babies. This is why we tried to keep it to ourselves that we are open to 2. The only way we would get 2 is if there are twins waiting for us in Korea. Korea dose not have other sibling groups. And the chances of twins is very very low. Along with the fact that there are probably other families ahead of us that are open to twins also.

Please, don't get your hopes up for twins. We really just felt like we wanted to be open to whatever God has planned for our family, and changing the number on the form seemed like a step of faith to show God that we trust Him. The reality is that it would truly take a work of God for us to get referred twins. Which we know He can do..but it is more likely that He has already chosen one special little boy to add to our family. And we will be blessed by that one boy.

So just when I think our file is on the way to Korea..one more, hopefully little, delay.

Good meeting

2007-05-17T16:52:00.000-04:00

Well, we finally met the director of the Korean program. We drove up to the Falls Church office yesterday. It took us about an hour and a half to get there. But it was worth it.
About a week ago I sent Barker an email. We just felt like they were not serving us apporiatly. So I outlined our concerns about the lack of service. And Sue called me a day or so later. She suggested that we meet, if at all possible. So that is why we drove up yesterday.We met Sue for the first time. She seems really nice. And now that we have made our concerns known I think she is going to be stay on top of things. We feel like the air has been cleared and we are all on the same page now.

There isn't much new info. We are just waiting for the I-171H to come in the mail. Then I fax it to Barker. She said then our file will go to Korea within 48 hours. Then we wait. She did say there are about 20 couples ahead of us waiting for referrals. But really you can't translate that into a time frame because there are so many variables...some may be waiting for a girl..some may not be able to accept a baby with minor medical issues..and then they actually look at our pictures and try to match us with a baby that fits our family. So really they don't just put us in a line and hand out babies..there is a lot more to the process.

Please just keep praying for our baby and his/her birth mother and foster mother.
Thanks for all of your support.

On our way..again

2007-05-14T16:52:00.000-04:00

We just got confirmation that Barker mailed our home study off to USCIS, I think on Friday. Finally, after 6 weeks. From what I have been seeing, it looks like USCIS is taking 2-4 weeks for approvals . I am not sure if we will get the approval in the mail or if they will send it directly to Barker. But we are going to Northern VA to meet with the director of the Korean program (Sue) on Wednesday, and that will be one of the questions I will ask her. Then once we get the approval from USCIS Barker will send our file to Korea. Wow..it seems like we are getting so close. Hopefully the wait will go quickly after our file goes to Korea. With all of the stuff we have going on in June and July, maybe we will be too busy to notice that we are waiting for our referral ; ) .

Well I am sure I will have more to write after our meeting on Wednesday.
PS, I am not too sure about the name Ben now. Raymond thinks I am crazy..which is not totally unfounded.

Waiting

2007-04-30T16:52:00.000-04:00

Well I don't really have much to report. But I thought since it had been a month from my last update I should write something. The problem is that I don't have anything "nice" to say , so I have been avoiding saying anything at all.
As I am sure you recall, we finished our home study in lightning speed, 3/30...and it still has not been sent to USCIS. I spoke with Barker week before last and was told it should go out by 4/27. Well I just spoke with them again today and it still needs revisions. And they are promising it will go out by the end of this week. I am having a hard time having faith in their time lines at this point.
I just want things to move on. I want my baby. I keep seeing baby things and I want to buy, buy , buy. But without a referral I just can't. (and when I say "I just can't" I really mean Raymond won't let me). If we could just move a step closer..I know then I would want to be the next step closer. But at least we would be a step closer.
I'll let you know when something actually happens.

We are done.

2007-03-30T16:52:00.000-04:00

Well it is over. It is all in the hands of the various agencies and God now. Our SW just left a couple of hours ago and she said everything looks great. It has been a long week. Our couple interview was on Tuesday and our individual interviews were on Thursday. Then we had our home visit this morning. One big rush and whoosh it is done.
Now we wait. That is our roll until til we meet our son in baggage claim of Dulles Airport, hopefully sometime in the fall. So here is the order of what we will be waiting on:

1. Home study approved by agency and sent to USCIS2. Home study approved by USCIS and receive I-171H form from USCIS3. File sent to Korea and received4. Referral (probably not until June or July so 2007 babies can turn 5 months old.)From there I know there are more things to wait on, but I am not real clear about what they are right now. About 4 things is all I can handle. We will deal with the rest as we get over some of the first hurdles. We are still thinking the he will be coming home in the fall sometime. But as things happen we will get a clearer picture.

Right now I am just trying to focus on be relieved. No one is waiting on me for anything. We have finished our responsibility in the process for now. Yes there is a loss of control, but there is also a freedom in knowing we do not carry the burden of getting things done so our son can come home right now. There is a relief that comes from handing it over to the only one that can handle a responsibility this large. We have done all we can, and now it is His turn.

Let the Home Study Begin!!!!!

2007-03-20T16:52:00.000-04:00

She called! I just got off the phone with the SW, and we are all set with all of the interviews. The last one will be 3/30. Right about the time line I was hoping for. I am so excited. Then she said she will send off her report to the agency the first week of April. I am sure at that point they will go over all of our paperwork with a fine tooth comb. I finally feel like we are getting somewhere. I know that once we get our file off to Korea there will still be quite a wait, those 2007 babies need to turn 5 months, but then I think I will feel like our part of the work is over, and it will be God's turn. I think I am going to call Barker today and make sure that they are getting all of the info they need one more time. Thanks for all of your well wishes. Pray for us on 3/27, 3/29 and 3/30 for our interviews. I will let you know how they go.

Sooo Frustrated!

2007-03-07T16:52:00.000-05:00

So I thought we were all done with paperwork. And technically we were. But I just got a call today from Barker (our adoption agency) telling me that they don't have some paperwork they need. I know I did these things already. I am filling out the same forms. And she says that they do not have 2 of the references. And I know a couple of months ago they told me they had ALL of our references. I have talked to these people, they sent them in a long time ago. Now they have to do them again...and get them notarized, it is just a hassle that we don't need twice.
But she did say that they are going to move forward with the home study. I should expect a call from our Social Worker (from here on out she will be known as SW) the week of March 19th. I was really hoping to be done with the HS (home study) by then. Things never seem to go as quickly as I think they could/should. But I am trying to remind myself that things are moving on God's time line, not mine. It is just so hard. I constantly think about the baby. Imagine what he is doing, and what life is going to be like when he gets here. And from here on out baby will be known as Benjamin, Ben for short. We picked out the name a while ago, but I thought I would post it since I hadn't yet. So now you have a name to put in your prayers for him.

Got some info

2007-01-31T16:52:00.000-05:00

Ok, I just got off the phone with the director of the Korea program at Barker. And she was able to give me a little more info on an updated time line.
At this point they are still getting referrals for babies born before the end of 2006. And they are being referred under the 2006 guidelines. At some point they will run out of babies with 2006 birth dates and then they will be going with the 2007 guidelines. What this means is that when they run out of 2006 babies there will be a hold on referrals until the end of May, so the first of the 2007 babies can turn 5 months old. Then they are expecting referrals to pick back up, and they are not expecting the time-til-travel to be any longer than it is now (2-3 months).
So if you map this out...We should be ready for the home study to start by 3/1. Finish our meetings by 4/1. Paperwork sent to Korea sometime in April. Get a referral maybe in 6/07 or 7/07 baby home 8/07 or 9/07. Sounds good in theory, right? I think the beginning of fall would be great. That way the kids would be in school and I could have time with the baby during most of the day, while we are all in the transition period. But I know God has His time line all worked out for us. But since things seems to be moving again, it is just so fun to speculate.
Please be in prayer not just for us, but for our baby and his birth mother. Thanks for all of your support!

We are back!

2007-01-29T16:52:00.000-05:00

I just compiled all the paperwork and stuffed (or overstuffed) it into an envelope to send into the agency (I went with 4 stamps, I hope that is enough). We are only missing one letter from the Dr about the great health of our kids and what wonderful parents Raymond and I are. I am going to have the the Drs office send that directly to the agency, to save time. And then it will be time to start the home study. I can not wait to start on the next part of the process. We may not be good at getting paperwork finished, but I can make appointments. So as long as the Social Worker is willing, I think we are going to knock those out pretty quick.
At this point it is both exciting and incomprehensible(sp) to think that hopefully we will have the baby home by the end of the year. I hate to even speculate any more as to when this year. We really just have no idea. I am trying to make plans for vacations this summer. But it is hard not knowing how many people we will have when we go. Or when we should even go. I don't want to be out of town when our referral comes in, or have a plane ticket to San Francisco for the time around when the baby may come home, or right after for that matter. But we also can't put plans on hold forever with no information to go on.
I have been keeping up with some message boards, and I have not heard of any referrals coming out of the agency in Korea (SWS) that we are working with, since the start of the year. Hopefully now that we will be in more frequent contact with our agency I will be able to get a more clear picture of what they are seeing this year so far. I'll let you know if I find out anything ;)

We are still here...

2006-12-04T16:52:00.000-05:00

It has been so long since I have written you are all probably wondering what, if anything, is going on. Well, not much. We still have not gotten all of our paperwork in, but we are down to 2 things. The Dr's forms are all filled out and ready to be mailed. So now we only have the autobiographies and the fire escape route left. So all on our shoulders. We are going to put them at the top of our list (again) when we get back from Disney.
We leave for Disney in about 4 days. And we will not get back until the 17th..the next thing we know it will be Christmas. But at least we are done with most of our shopping so hopefully we will have time to get the paperwork part of our journey finished before Christmas.
Well, Hope you all have a great Holiday season and I will check back in after the New Year!

Goal? what goal?

2006-10-04T16:52:00.000-04:00

Ok so we did not meet the goals I set on 9/12. But we did make progress. I did send the certified checks. And we did get the medical papers filled out and delivered to the Dr. The autobiographies you ask?...um and the fire escape route thingy for the house?...well those are still in the works. But hay 1/2 of our list is better than none right? I know, I know..we need to get this stuff done. We are going to work on the autobiographies this weekend. My new goal is to send them by the 16th. That gives us 2 weekends to get them done. So you think we can do it? Come on somebody has to have some confidence in us.
Well the Nov. restart date is approaching and the way things are looking we won't even have our home study done by then, but hopefully by Dec.1,2006 and then all of our stuff can go to Korea before the end of the year. Hopefully we will have a very happy new year.

Setting a goal

2006-09-12T16:52:00.000-04:00

Ok. I am putting this down in print. We only have a couple of things left to do in order to get our home study started and we are setting a goal to have them done be the end of the month.
They are: our biographies, medical stuff, certified checks sent in to agency, and a fire escape plan for the house.
I really think we can do this by the end of the month, I will let you know if we meet our goal. I don't know if we got lazy because of the hold up in Korea, or if we just saved the hardest parts for last and now they are too daunting, but we really need to get back to work and finish our part up.
Thank you to all of you that have sent in or are working on references for us. Please know you are not holding up the process (as long as you get your stuff in by the end of the month). We are the ones that need to get our act together.

Fingerprints are done

2006-08-28T16:52:00.000-04:00

Well there is one more thing checked off the list. We all went up to Alexandria (about a 2 hour drive) and got our finger prints taken on Friday. Everyone living in the house over the age of 18 has to have them done, so Pat had to go too. I have to say the kids were really good. We took gameboys and leapsters to keep them occupied. The letter that we got said that we had an 8am appointment. Yah..along with about 200 other people...but we did not know that part until we got there (10 mins before 8a) and saw the line a mile long at the door. But I have to say I think we were all done by 9-9:30 AM. So all in all not too bad of an experience. Of course we still had to drive home and stop along the way for lunch and such. So it was almost an all day affair. But not all together too unpleasant. The best part was while we were there waiting for them to call our number. A family sat right in front of us that had a little boy they had adopted from Korea. So we milked them for info and just watched this cutie little thing run his parents up and down the aisles. So it really reminded us why we are doing all of this..leaving the house by 5:30am to go to Alexandria to get finger prints..getting all of our medical info together...trying to write autobiographies..ect. You can really get bogged down in all of the to dos and start to wonder why you are doing all of this and putting all of this time into it and forget that it is a him. Our next son. This cutie little boy that if we are lucky will be running us up and down the aisles some time soon.
PS..I thought I would update you about my previous post. I was on the phone/mostly hold for only 58 mins this time.

Sitting on hold again

2006-08-18T16:52:00.000-04:00

As I write, I am sitting on hold with, who else, USCIS again. They were the ones I wrote about the 67 min phone call. And I have just been told that my estimated wait time is ONLY 25-35 mins this time. But if I want to call back at a time that is "LOW" call volume to call wed-Fri 12p-6p. Well guess what day it is, yep Friday...and the time?? 3:40p..so what would be the point in calling back. Maybe to chose a better day to get a cramp in my neck, from holding the phone with my shoulder? Well what is a good day for that, really?
On a more encouraging note, we are down to the last few things to do before the home study can start. And really they mostly depend on us and when we can get them done. So if you see us or talk to us anytime soon, nag us, even guilt us in to doing our "homework" to get this stuff done. We have been too laid back lately about doing our homework. And we need to get moving so we can get in line to have our application sent over to Korea when things open back up in Nov.
Well I have now been on hold a total of 18 mins. and I can not think of anything else to write about. I will let know how it turns out.

Our first glitch

2006-08-02T16:52:00.000-04:00

We ran into our first glitch today.
I am totally obsessed with getting our baby, so I keep up with some forums and websites. And when I say "keep up with" I really mean I check them 3-5 times a day. Anyway, I have been seeing lately some info about Korea starting a new process for international adoption starting in 2007. It is not too radical in comparison to what they are doing now but it will change some things. But I was hoping that it would really not have any affect on us since we will be getting our homestudy and application submitted to Korea before the end of the year. Well I was wrong. I saw today on one of the forums that someone else had been told that Korea had stopped accepting applications until Nov. so I called our agency. They confirmed that they had just gotten word and they were in the process of calling all of the families in thier program to tell us.
I guess I should start by explaining the current process: 1. send in app to American Agency 2. do paperwork(where we are now) 3. do homestudy 4. send appliction to Korean agency 5. they match you with a 8-12 week old infant and send you a referal ( a kind of.."do you want this baby?") 6. accept referal 7. 2-3 months later pick up 4-7 month old baby at airport. Now they are making changes in an effort to get more Korean babies adopted by Korean parents. So instead of matching infants with international parents at 8-12 weeks they are not going to make them availble for adoption internationally until they are 5 months old. Everything else about the process will stay the same. But that means babies will be more like 7-9 months old before they come home. And since they already have so many international couples in the works they want to stop the flow of applications so they can finish those. Then when they start accepting international applications again in Nov it will be the begining of the implimentation of the 2007 process.
What I think this means for us is..1. an older baby and 2. not a baby by spring..I really don't know when, I still imagine 2007 sometime. We can still ( and should) continue with the paperwork and homestudy and get all of our stuff done and ready to go ASAP, because once they start sending the applications to Korea, they will not be sending all of them at the same time, so as not to over flow the system...they will be sending them in the order they were completed. So really once we get our stuff completed I don't know when it will be sent. And with the new process I don't know how long it will be to get a referal ( right now it is between 2-5 weeks once it was sent to Korea). The agency said they are going to be speaking with the director of the Korean agency next week and will try to get some more info about the plans for how things and time lines are going to run once things start back up. But I am thinking that with this being a new process for them, they really aren't going to be able to predict time lines until they start doing it.
So now how do I/we feel about this. Well I can't really speak for Raymond..I have only talked to him about it once today and that was really just to relay the info. But at this point I still don't feel like there is any other country that is a better choice for us. China and Guatemala have babies coming home about the same age (7-12 months). And domestic adoption is really just to risky. I can't even imagine the pain for ourselves let alone the kids if we got a baby and then had it taken away (which is the chance you run for 12 months in the US). I think now it is just a process of shifting our expectations. I expected to have a 4-7month old in Feb-Apr and now I can't expect that. I am going to lose more time with them. That is the hardest thing to accept. The lost time. That is what I feel like I am mourning right now.