Going to get my baby.

With a good nights sleep, I think this concept is starting to sink in. I am leaving in less than 48 hours to get my daughter. Wow. I look at her pictures, that we have plastered all over the house, and just can not believe that I am actually going to get to bring her home with me. They are going to check my passport to make sure I am who I say I am , and then they are just going to let me take her home. Amazing. Sometimes I ask myself..what qualifies me to do this? Why us? How did we get so lucky? But then I remember the last 21 months of waiting, and paperwork, and Dr apts, and all the home study visits, and finger prints (please don't forget the finger prints), the research ( on adoption, attachment & bonding, being a multiracial family), preparing our kids and other family for this change in our routine and family makeup. I think it is a lot like labor though, I remember doing all of those things and I remember how painful it was at times to do and think about, but it all seems small in comparison to the gift I will be bringing home.

We really have been on a journey with this adoption. I don't think there is anyway someone could avoid it, really. There are so many times we questioned ourselves, our beliefs , our parenting skills, our ability to love and accept another child unconditionally. This journey changes you, I think all journeys do. Isn't that why we take them? To grow and stretch, our mind , our heart,and our spirit. And just think, it isn't over yet. Getting her home is just one step in this journey. Now we are starting a new part, adding her to our family.

Each step is exciting and scary. We have to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. And if we did not acknowledge that there is a "worst" out there, what benefit would that serve. In all reality, it could be very difficult for Hope to adjust to being here with our family. Maybe it will be the "best", but most likely it will be somewhere between best and worst. So in an effort of prevention, we are going to take the advice of other adoptive families and attachment research. We will be keeping Hope close to us, literally. Lots of holding and carrying, and for about the 1st six weeks Raymond and I will be the only ones to care for her (feeding, changing, putting to sleep, holding). Maybe this will be overkill. But isn't there a reason we chose to go to the dentist to get our teeth cleaned every 6 months? Teeth cleaning hurts a whole lot less than getting a cavity filled. And research and experience tell us that most people that go in for cleanings every 6 months cut down on the number of cavities and other oral health problems. So this is our theory. "Better safe than sorry", "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure", or being "over protective"...some have even said "obsessed". Call it what you want. It seems worth it to us, in the long run.

There is a link on the "Interesting Adoption Links" list here on our blog. One of the links is to 4everfamily , if you are wondering what the "worst" could be , check it out.

Sorry, I did not mean to turn this post into what seems, such a downer. I suppose this is all weighing on me as I pack, for Monday. Please don't misunderstand. I am excited to meet her and get to know her. And to see my older kiddos with their new sister. And to see my husband's face when he holds his new daughter for the first time. But I am also not a first time mom, so with that comes a perspective of knowing that this is not all going to be hearts and flowers. There is real work to be done ahead for us. But just as with the adoption journey, I know I will look back from this journey at some point and at all of the work ,that is ahead for us now, and it will all seem a small price to pay for the blessing I will be holding in my lap.